


A Fresh Start

by oh_schmidt



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Mild Smut, POV First Person, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-08 08:05:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3201728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_schmidt/pseuds/oh_schmidt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke vows to remain single when she returns to the University of Mount Weather after a bad breakup last semester. That is, until she befriends a freshman girl who has a gorgeous older brother, Bellamy Blake. Will past mistakes destroy her chance of a happy future? When her past comes back to haunt her, Clarke finds solace in new relationships.</p><p>*Currently on temporary hiatus due to severe writer's block. But will return very soon! Feel free to leave comments for encouragement <3*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The University of Mount Weather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm new to this whole fanfic thing, so go easy on me. :) If you have feedback or if you like what I'm writing, I'd love to hear in the comments!

_We’re driving way too fast, I’m screaming in the backseat. Dad turns to look back at me, and I shout at him to turn around and look at the oncoming car. It’s like he can’t hear me, so he just stares at my face, eyes crinkling with a smile. I see the lights coming closer, and closer; nothing I say can make my dad turn around. I squeeze my eyes shut just as the headlights reach us._

I wake up in a puddle of my own sweat, hands slightly shaking as I grab the alarm clock. It’s only 3:00am, and that was just a dream. I pad downstairs quietly and sip at a tall glass of water. Not feeling much better, I dump the rest of the water out and return to my bed. I drift back off into a fitful sleep.

-  
“New year, new me.” I decide as I slide my feet into my slippers.

The past couple of months at home have been a blessing; it has been so nice spending time with Mom and taking my mind off of everything that happened last semester. Summer wouldn’t have been nearly as enjoyable if it weren’t for Jasper and Monty as well. I would never have gotten out of the house or stopped wallowing in my own self-pity if it weren’t for my best friends. I’m suddenly sad about leaving them behind again, but they go to the local college and I remember that I can come home to visit them whenever I want.

“About time you woke up, sunshine,” Mom says with a grin as I come down the stairs.

“It’s my last morning at home before school. I’m allowed to be a lazy bum,” I reply as I try to flatten out my serious bed head.

“Enjoy it while you can, you’re not going to have much time when you get back to Mount Weather.”

Ah, the University of Mount Weather, my home away from home for the past two years. I love going to school out of state, but sometimes I wish it were easier to come home since Mom is always here alone. And being hours away from Monty and Jasper can take a toll on a girl that doesn’t make friends very easily. Though being hours away may help me forget about Wells...

“Don’t remind me. Junior year is when we start getting into our major classes. Grad schools will be looking at our GPA starting now,” I say with a mouthful of cereal.

“You’ll do great,” Mom assures me with a smile.

“Except I have no idea what to expect! Maybe I shouldn’t have changed my major so last minute.”

“Switching from nursing to psychology is not too far of a stretch. While I wish you would have stuck with nursing and taken after me, I think psychology could be a very good fit for you. And you’ve only taken the basic classes which will all switch to your psychology major, so you have nothing to worry about.”

Mom always calls out my irrational thoughts with logic, and I know she’s right. I’m just nervous about starting a new major and starting a new life, practically, without Wells. Mom seems to read my mind.

“This is a good opportunity for you to take your mind off of what happened with Wells. You can meet some new people and actually have a few more friends this semester! Maybe some friends that are girls, even.” She’s never let me live down the fact that I don’t have any girl friends.  
“You won’t be so caught up with visiting Wells at his school and can branch out and meet some people at your own school,” she says with a comforting rub on my arm.

I was with Wells since the sixth grade. All up until the end of last semester, right before the summer break. Our long distance relationship was getting hard, and I guess I was the only one who didn’t handle it very well… Once we broke up, or once he broke up with me I mean, I didn’t really know who I was without him. But now is my chance to figure it out.

I hear a vibration against the kitchen counter and Mom picks up her phone and silently reads a text message with a smile on her face.

“Who are you so happy to hear from this early in the morning?” I ask skeptically.

“You remember Marcus Kane from Thelonious’s party? We’ve kept in touch since then and he seems like a very nice guy.”

“That’s great Mom. Maybe he can keep you company while I’m gone.”

“You know you don’t have to worry about me being alone, Clarke. The hours at the hospital keep me pretty busy, and I am a big girl,” she sighs.

“I know, of course you are. It’s just, without Dad, everything seems so quiet at home.”

She gives me a comforting look and a pressed smile as she squeezes my hand.

I always feel so guilty when I have to leave Mom home all alone. Ever since Dad’s accident, it’s just been me and Mom. I always feel like I have to be here for her since we’re all each other has. But it may be nice knowing she isn’t sitting at home alone every night while I’m gone if she starts hanging out with Kane more.

I finish my cereal and head back upstairs to rake a brush through my hair and get dressed. I glance at myself in the mirror one last time before heading back down. My eyes move from my relaxed, blond curls all the way down my shapely body, and back up to meet my own sky blue eyes. I think about who I am and who I want to be, and nod to my own reflection as if I am silently allowing myself to be that person.

-

I finally stuff the last of the boxes in my car and shove the trunk door down, effectively squishing all my dorm items.

“Call me when you get there, okay?” Mom asks as she pulls me in for a hug.

“I always do,” I state, trying to keep my eyes from watering a bit as I pull away from her.

I back out of our driveway, vowing to leave everything that happened last semester behind and vowing to remain single. I need to find out who I am as a single girl. A single woman.

When I get out on the open road, I really do feel like this could be a good year for me. A fresh start.

-

Ugh, freshman dorms. I close the door to my new room and sweep my eyes from the ground to my raised up bed, and from the mini fridge to the tiny TV I shoved in the corner. I’m starting to rethink this whole resident assistant job. I’m only two years older than the up and coming freshman, but I arrogantly feel like I am so much more experienced than they are when it comes to college. In all actuality though, I haven’t really experienced the whole college thing either. I’ve always been so focused on my studies, and when I did have a free weekend, I was driving up to see Wells at his school.

I spend the day unpacking my things. I almost fall off of my five foot high bed trying to make the stupid thing, but I eventually manage to get all the corners tucked in. I delicately place my art supplies on the desk next to my textbooks, wondering if I will ever have time to sketch.

After successfully setting up my TV and connecting to the Wi-Fi, I decide to spend a quiet first night with Tumblr and The CW.

A few hours into the Vampire Diaries marathon, I hear an obnoxious knock on the door. I glance over at the clock on the floor that I haven’t put up yet. 11pm. Who the hell is disturbing me already? It’s only the first night, can’t they hold it together for more than eight hours?

I open the tall door to a small, annoyingly cute freshman girl.

“Hey, you’re the RA right? My roommate is already smuggling in frat guys which wouldn’t usually be a huge problem for me, but they’re so drunk one has already thrown up all over my closet.”

I roll my eyes and realize that this is my life for the next five months.

“We just got here, can you guys not keep it in your pants for one night? And it’s an all girls’ dorm; guys can’t even be here this late!” I reply as I start throwing on some shoes.

“It’s my roommate! I can already tell we’re going to have a problem. Is it too late for a room change?” she asks.

“You’ll have to pick up a form from the office in the lobby and give it to me by the end of the week. What room are you in?”

“59A,” she says and I follow her down the hall to her room.

I hear obnoxious pop music from behind the door and knock loudly to get somebody’s attention. The door opens and I see three clearly underage frat boys in their usual frat boy uniform of khaki pants and a colorful polo, and who I assume to be this girls’ roommate lying on the bed with a bottle in her hand.

“I’ll need to see all of your ID’s because I can assume from the numerous beer bottles that you are all drinking,” I say as one of the somewhat less wasted boys saunters over to me.

“Who are you, the party police?” He grins at me while standing at an uncomfortably close distance.

“No. I’m the RA who was hired to take care of dumbasses like you. Now give me your ID or I’ll have to call security.”

Dumbass Frat Boy Number One apparently does not like to be called a dumbass, because his face turns a pinkish red color and he drunkenly tries to grab at me while yelling profanities.

The girl who came to get me acts faster than I can and punches the guy square in the jaw, right in front of my face. He falls to the ground while his lackeys blither like idiots, and I stare incredulously at the tiny freshman girl who I’d just met moments ago.

“Thanks,” I breathe with wide eyes taking in the scene.

“You help me, I help you,” she replies with a smile as she examines her knuckles.

“Are you okay?” I ask when I see the redness starting to form on her small knuckles.

“Never better!”

I realize then that I think I could like this girl.

“You, what’s your name?” I ask, pointing to the girl in the corner. She’s still sitting on the bed looking like she can’t quite process what just happened.

“Maya.” She looks guilty.

“Alright. I’m going to call security to escort your boyfriends and get them a breathalyzer test. You will also be taking that test, and I will have to report you to the office. Don’t unpack all your things, because you will probably be moving out shortly.”

The small girl next to me smiles broadly as she realizes she’ll probably get her own room. I watch though as her face drops.

“Wait, you’re not going to make me take the breathalyzer too, are you? I just had one beer, but I’m not 21…” The small girl’s eyebrows furrow, suddenly nervous.

“I think I owe you one after what you just did. Your secret is safe with me. This time…” I reply quietly with a smirk.

“Hey, we girls have to stick together, right?” she smiles as she jokingly punches my arm. “I’m Octavia by the way.”

“Clarke.” And just like that, I finally find a girl I can be friends with.


	2. Contents Under Pressure

Octavia passes me a piece of scotch tape and I move to finish hanging up the poster above her bed. It’s been two days since she practically saved me from a drunken frat bro, and we’ve already become fast friends.

“God, I can’t believe classes start tomorrow. I feel like the summer flew by,” Octavia says while setting up a picture frame on her desk. 

“I’m pretty ready to get back to the grind, honestly,” I respond. Octavia eyes me in disbelief. 

“Oh no, you’re one of those kids who actually enjoys doing homework, aren’t you?” she mocks and feigns horror. 

“Not particularly, I’m just ready to start a new year and get my mind off of things,” I laugh.

“Things? What kind of things? …Boy things?” She winks several times and laughs at her own innuendo.

“Gross, not those kinds of things, but yes, I guess you could say boy things,” I respond begrudgingly. 

Just as Octavia was about to reply, probably with something dirty, her phone rings.

“Hey Bell!” She practically squeals into the phone.

I busy myself with hanging the rest of the posters while Octavia finishes her conversation. After just a few sentences, she hangs up the phone and turns to me.

“That was my brother, he wants to meet up for dinner tonight before classes start. Want to come?” she asks, her voice hopeful.

“Your brother goes here? I don’t want to intrude on your sibling time,” I reply. “I was actually planning on binge watching Orange is the New Black tonight anyway.”

“Oh, please come! My brother doesn’t get out as much as he should and could totally use some female interaction with someone who isn’t me or my mom. And God knows, Netflix can wait! Please?” Octavia pouts her lower lip to look like a puppy dog.

“Okay, okay, persistent aren’t you?” I say, narrowing my eyes at her. Netflix will have to wait I suppose.

Octavia claps her hands and wraps me into a quick hug. “He wants to meet in like ten minutes, so go get dressed!”

“I can’t just wear this?” I ask. Octavia looks me up and down, assessing my outfit.

“You usually go out to dinner in yoga pants and a sweatshirt?” she asks incredulously. 

“Well it’s not like I’m trying to impress anyone! Especially guys, I really don’t want any attention from them right now.” 

Octavia raises an eyebrow at me.

“Fiiiiine, I’ll put jeans on,” I say dramatically as I walk back to my own room.

-

When we arrive at the restaurant, I realize why Octavia thought I should change. It was by no means a five star restaurant, but it was definitely the nicest place on campus. 

“Come on, he’s already inside,” Octavia says happily as she gets out of my car.

I follow her through the door and spot someone waving to us a few tables away. Octavia runs over to the tan, dark-haired, incredibly good looking guy and I mentally high five myself for putting on my tight jeans that make my butt look good.

“Bell, this is Clarke. She’s the RA for my hall and is the person who let me have my own room! Clarke, this is my big brother, Bellamy Blake.” Octavia grins as she takes the seat next to him.

“Thanks for inviting us to dinner,” I say as I sit down across from him, trying not to stare too long at his gorgeously sculpted face.

“I didn’t know you would be here actually,” he responds back to me with his brow furrowed and looking slightly… Angry? 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. When Octavia invited me, I thought you had to,” I stammer.

“Bell, she’s my friend, could you at least pretend you have manners?” Octavia berates.

Octavia and Bellamy exchange a few hushed sentences, probably about how he wishes I wasn’t here, and I bury myself in the menu to not make things any more uncomfortable.

With the matter of my presence seemingly wrapped up, Octavia strikes up a conversation with her brother and I use it as my chance to really look at Bellamy Blake. His brown hair, so deep it is almost black, falls in loose waves a few inches down his forehead. He has nice lips and perfect teeth, and a few sporadic freckles dusting his cheeks. His body seems to be kept in good shape, with powerful arms peeking out of his short sleeved shirt. He must be several years older than Octavia by the looks of his eyes. There’s a matureness in them that only comes with age. I start to feel myself staring for too long. What am I doing? Snap out of it! He was just a total ass to me and I definitely do not need to be getting interested in someone so soon after Wells. I’ve got to pull it together.

Bellamy pulls me out of my reverie. “What about you, Clarke?”

Oh crap, I have no idea what the context to that question is! I should have at least been listening while checking out Octavia’s brother.

“I’m sorry, what are we talking about?” I blush.

“I was just asking O what she wanted to major in. Are you a freshman as well?” Bellamy smirks as if he could tell I was checking him out.

“Oh, I’m a junior. I’ve just switched my major from nursing to psychology,” I manage to get out.

“Psychology, huh? Planning on being unemployed?” he asks with an expression I can’t quite read. 

“I plan on going to graduate school, and being very employed, actually,” I scoff, slightly offended. “What about you, Mr. Blake?” I say with a slight attitude. 

“History,” he retorts.

“Planning on being unemployed?” I jeer, giving it right back to him.

He laughs, the first real smile I’ve seen him give me. “Something like that.” His smile still not gone from his face as he barely shakes his head, keeping my gaze.

The waiter comes to take our order and breaks my eye contact with Bellamy. Was I staring again? Was he staring at me? 

Octavia does most of the talking over dinner which suits me fine. I usually prefer to take the back seat when I don’t know the company very well. Or when the company doesn’t like me much, for that matter.

I watch how the two siblings interact. Both have very good table manners; I notice as they eat. Bellamy allows Octavia to take the lead and he looks at her like she’s one of the best things to happen to him. They must have been close as kids. Sibling relationships always fascinate me because I never had one. Bellamy glances over at me from time to time; I can see him in my peripheries. Though the constant checking up on me would usually be seen as sweet, I notice his face has a constant hardened expression when he looks at me.

The bill comes and I reach for my purse to pay.

“I’ve got this one, Princess,” Bellamy says with an arrogance on his face. Like he wants me to know that he has enough money to afford all three of our dinners.  
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind paying for myself, at least.” I don’t want to feel like I owe anyone, especially Bellamy Blake who doesn’t seem to care for me.  
Bellamy just silently meets my gaze with an amused expression as he puts his credit card down with the bill.

Did he call me Princess? Princess?? Do I give off that kind of impression? Is he mocking me? He is impossible to get a read on. All of a sudden I’m glad to start learning psychology tomorrow. 

“He likes paying, Clarke. Just let it happen!” Octavia snorts.

“Thank you,” I say to Bellamy, not sure what else to say.

We gather our things and say goodbye to Bellamy as we head our separate ways. Back in the comfort of my own room, I can’t help but think of Octavia’s brother. How he is obviously gorgeous, but so arrogant at the same time. He has a bad attitude, but there’s also something nice about him. I try to shake the thoughts from my mind as I lay down to go to sleep. I’ll probably never see him again, no need to try to figure him out when I have better things to worry about.  
I set my alarm for 7:30 to have enough time to hit snooze a few times and get ready for my 9:30 class in the morning. I’d at least like to look somewhat cute, it is the first day after all. I drift off to sleep and my dreams are filled with brown eyes and freckles…

-

My first few classes go off without a hitch. I think I’ll enjoy my developmental psych class, but intro to statistics may be tough. By 3:30 I’m in my last class: psychoneuroimmunology. I chose it as a free elective, figuring it couldn’t be too hard because of my nursing background and it would look good on my transcripts when I apply to grad school. I immediately regret that decision.

My teacher is a stern looking European woman with an accent I can’t quite place. She’s tall, broad, and terrifying. As we go over the syllabus, I realize I am in way over my head. Only one project and two tests make up our entire grade. Daily textbook readings are assigned every day, and attendance is absolutely mandatory. More than one day missed results in a whole letter grade deduction. 

When I leave the class, I decide I should leave psychoneuroimmunology to when I’m a bit more versed in psychology. 

The add/drop period isn’t over, so I can drop this class and sign up for another. And I only need a free elective, so I can take whatever I want…

When I get back to my dorm, I log onto the school website and search for classes still open. Out of the hundreds of classes the university offers, I have my choice of two open classes that I could use as a free elective: Computer Programming 220 or US Diplomatic History 301. I hate history and it sounds wicked boring, but I have a feeling taking computer programming would be a really great way for me to fail. I quickly drop my psychology class and add history before the spot fills up.

I exhale when it’s done and feel a bit better. I missed the first day of class but shouldn’t be far behind.

Once my history textbook and Chinese takeout had been ordered, I settle in for the night with Netflix.

-

At 3:30 I’m wandering around the history building trying to find room 3019. I’m already late and there’s nobody out in the halls to ask for directions. Finally, I find the room tucked in a corner that I walked right past twice. I quietly open the door, five minutes late, and take a seat towards the back of the lecture hall. 

The room looks like it could seat a hundred but only about twenty seats are filled. The elderly teacher already monotonously rattling off dates, I take out my notebook and glance up at the PowerPoint. 

A mess of brown wavy hair catches my eye. Oh my… What did he say was his major? I rack my brain trying to remember the words coming out of Bellamy’s mouth. History! Ugh, of course. I should have known choosing a history class could possibly lead to running into Bellamy, but obviously I didn’t think about it. 

Butterflies swarm my stomach as I silently wish that those curly locks belong to Bellamy. I hate how attracted I am to him, especially when he’s so arrogant. I remind myself of my stay-single vow and try to focus on the old man speaking at the front of the room.

The hour drags on until it is time to leave. When the professor finally releases us, I grab up my things as quickly as I can and try to sneak out of the room before the Bellamy look alike can notice me. I’m not sure why, but I really don’t want to talk to him, even though I was just wishing it were him. Maybe because I know that his good looks put me under some kind of spell. But what am I going to do, hide from him all semester? It may not even be him, though. Maybe I’m over reacting. When did I become such a neurotic, teenage girl? Pull yourself together, Griffin.

I’m suddenly snapped out of my hormone driven thoughts as I smack right into the front of a towering figure.

“Bellamy! Hi… Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I feel my cheeks already bright red as I glance up at his six foot frame.

“In a hurry?” Bellamy questions.

Just trying to avoid you…

“No! I was just trying to get back to my dorm to start studying... Were you in that history class..?” I think I sound quite convincing of my obliviousness to the fact he was in there, even though it’s a lie.

“Yeah, this is one of my major classes. But you knew that, didn’t you?” he says with amusement, studying my expression.

Does he think I took this class on purpose on the slight chance he would be in it? He’s cockier than I initially thought, which is saying something.

I try to make my most convincing sarcastic snort. “Yes, you caught me. I’ve switched my major to history just so I can follow you around all day, every day.” I roll my eyes dramatically enough so he’d notice.

“Well, if that’s the case, why didn’t you come sit next to me?” he asks, his tone sounding less like an asshole today.

“I uh… didn’t know you were in there. Like I said. Even if I did, I’d really like to focus on my classes this year and sitting near friends is just a distraction,” I trail off. What I really mean is that if I sat any closer, I’d be distracted by his chiseled jaw bone and buff biceps.

“We friends now, Princess?” He asks with a smirk.

“Hah, please. I try to avoid surrounding myself with pompous older men,” I retort, trying my best to sound indifferent. 

“Me? Pompous?” He gives a generous laugh and I can’t help but smile a little in return. Apparently we joke around with each other now.

By this point, we’re almost to my dorm. Is he walking me back?

“Any plans for the long weekend?” Bellamy asks, glancing down in my direction.

We have next Monday off already for Labor Day. Why they bother starting school right before having a holiday off always confused me.

“I’m probably just going to hang out here. I live too far away to justify driving all the way back when I was just there, ya know?” I reply. “What about you guys?”

“Octavia and I will be going home to visit with our mom for a bit.” He pauses as if thinking something through. “You’re probably going to be here all by yourself… You can come with us if you’d like.” Bellamy shoots me a cautious sideways look that gives me a peak into another side of him.

I’m taken aback but quickly recover. It wouldn’t be so bad, would it? I wouldn’t mind getting to know Octavia better anyway. Bellamy being there doesn’t mean I’ll have to interact with him, though I think I’m starting to warm up to him…

“Are you actually inviting me this time?” I playfully respond with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and puts back on his arrogant façade, hiding the trace of softness I’d just witnessed. “I’d love to hang out with you and Octavia. Thanks.” 

“Cool,” he says nonchalantly. “I’ll have O give you the details.”

I nod and thank him again and notice we’re at the front door of my dorm. I had no idea where my feet were taking me, distracted by Bellamy once again. So I guess he really did walk me all the way back. Huh. Maybe he’s not such a douche after all. 

“Okay, sweet. I’ll… see you soon then,” I awkwardly manage to get out the words as Bellamy turns to walk away.

Sweet? Did I just say that would be sweet? Who am I?

I try and push the distracting thoughts of our somewhat playful banter out of my mind as I climb the stairs up to my room with a small smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked reading! Feel free to leave comments :) <3


	3. White Walls, Blue Shutters, and a Wraparound Porch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thank you all so much for sticking with me and reading! This chapter is a little slow, but it's just to prepare for the next one. Bear with me :)

 

Classes go on as usual. I spend most of my time in my room or the library, trying to stay ahead of the game before the classwork gets to be too much.

The past couple of history classes had been odd… I moved a little closer to the front to feel like a part of the class, and Bellamy takes the same seat in the middle of the room. I still sit behind him, but only a few rows away. When we pass each other coming in or leaving, we make eye contact but Bellamy doesn’t strike up any more conversations. I was starting to think we were on more talkative terms now that he _did_ invite me to go to his home with him. But I guess I was wrong. Bellamy Blake is a puzzle, and I feel like I’m missing some of the pieces.

-

“Eeee, I’m so glad you’re coming with us!” Octavia shrieks as she watches me pack my bag.

“Yeah, should be much better than sitting here alone for four days,” I reply, trying sound as excited as she is. “I’m still kind of surprised your brother invited me.”

“Eh, he’s moody sometimes, but he’s usually a nice guy. Plus, I saw how you two were looking at each other at dinner last week…” she says, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“What do you mean?” I laugh nervously. “I told you, I’m staying single this year at all costs.”

“Mhmm.” Octavia is still wiggling her eyebrows at me with a smirk.

“Ahem… So uh, where do you guys live anyway?” I try to change the subject slyly, but I don’t think Octavia buys it. She humors me anyway.

“Out in the suburbs, only about two and a half hours from here. I’ll be driving, by the way,” she says.

“Oh, I figured Bellamy would be driving. He seems like a take charge kind of guy,” I respond, slightly confused.

“He probably would, but he doesn’t have a car. He gave me his when I came to school.”

My eyebrows raise in surprise. The mysterious Bellamy Blake continuous to confound me.

“So he has to walk everywhere..?” I ask. That does not sound like the in-control guy I’ve come to somewhat know. He seems like he would be too prideful to stoop so low as to not have his own car.

As if to answer my question right on cue, I hear the growl of an engine and wheels skid to a stop.

I let out a small laugh as I walk over to the window, already knowing what I’ll find.

Bellamy Blake is climbing off a glossy, jet black motorcycle, taking off his helmet into his hands.

“That would be my big bro.” Octavia rolls her eyes at the sound but seems amused at my expression of disbelief.

I pull my jaw up from off the floor and compose myself, throwing more things into my bag without even really thinking. It’s unnerving how attractive I find him on a motorcycle.

A moment later, the sound of knocking announces Bellamy’s entrance. Octavia must have told him which one was my room.

“Ready?” he asks, glancing down at my open suitcase with a raised brow.

“Yeah,” I reply as I throw in my textbooks and zip it together. I probably forgot something but don’t really want Bellamy staring over me, watching me clumsily throw unfolded clothes into my bag.

“Clarke, I thought you said you finished all your homework!” Octavia says, exasperated as she notices my textbooks.

“I did, I just thought I may have some time to squeeze some studying in.” I give her an apologetic look.

“Let’s get going then. I told Mom we would be home in time for lunch,” Bellamy says to Octavia.

I look up from my bag and notice how tall Bellamy looks in my box of a dorm room. I chuckle under my breath at how good he looks. Luckily, nobody hears me.

The siblings trail out of my tiny dorm room and I lock the door behind me. We pile all our bags in Octavia’s trunk and Bellamy makes a sweeping gesture to offer me the front seat. I smile as he opens the door for me. Apparently Nice Bellamy showed up today, I had better cherish the moment.

Octavia starts off the car ride with a verbal reenactment of the night when I “saved her from drunken frat bros.” Bellamy laughs along with us and we continue with light hearted conversations until we run out of things to talk about.

After only an hour into the trip, Octavia declares that she has to pee, so we pull of the highway and into a gas station.

“Bell, will you drive the rest of the way? I don’t feel like it anymore.” Octavia flashes her puppy dog eyes to Bellamy and he obliges immediately. She quickly runs off into the food mart with a skip in her step.

Bellamy exits the backseat and makes his way around the car and into the driver’s seat next to me. I don’t know whether I should move to the back and let Octavia sit up front when she gets back, or if Bellamy would find that offensive like I don’t want to sit next to him.

Before I can decide on a move, Bellamy asks, “So how is history going for you so far?”

“Are you talking to me now?” I ask and he looks at me inquisitively. “You always just pass right by me in class, so I figured you were ignoring me now.”

He lets out a breathy laugh. “You told me you didn’t want to be distracted. I’m just giving you what you asked. Always the gentleman, you know.” He flashes me a lopsided smile.

He’s right, I suppose I did say that.

“Glad to know you miss talking to me though,” Bellamy winks before I can respond.

I see Octavia coming back towards the car, so I decide not to continue the conversation.

Bellamy looks amused as he pulls back out onto the highway after Octavia climbed in the back.

It doesn’t take long for Octavia to pass out. I see her from the passenger side mirror with her eyes closed and mouth slightly open. She looks like an innocent little kid when she's asleep. It's annoying how cute she is, even when she isn't trying.

“She can sleep anywhere,” Bellamy tells me.

“That’s a skill I wish I possessed,” I reply.

Bellamy doesn't respond and I feel the silence starting to turn awkward.

“So you gave Octavia your car.” I state instead of question.

“She has to have something to drive herself around campus in. I didn’t mind giving up my car for her. My mom couldn’t afford to buy her her own, but I had enough money saved up for a bike. Can’t say I mind the trade.” He has a devilish grin that I could barely make out from my peripheries.

“You had a good job then?” I ask, wanting to learn more about him.

“I took a couple years off after sophomore year and had a lot of odd jobs.” His answer is short so I decide to continue to pry a bit.

“Whoa, so you’re not a freshman??” I tease sarcastically.

The corners of his mouth turn up. “No. I like to call myself a super senior,” he chuckles. “I’m 23.”

Aha, I knew he was older. It sounds like he really takes care of his family and is the nice guy Octavia said he was. I’m glad I’m having the chance to understand him more. Finally gaining some more pieces of the puzzle. He seems much more pleasant towards me since our first meeting and I wonder to myself why that is.

“So why history?” I wonder aloud.

Bellamy lets out a small sigh. “We had a ton of history books in our study growing up. My dad was kind of a history buff. I ended up reading a lot of them and they really interested me. Guess it’s the only thing I can see myself doing.”

_Was_ a history buff? I can’t help but wonder what happened to his dad, but I leave it alone. Don’t want to pry too much when he’s just started opening up to me.

“I know what you mean. My mom is a doctor so I grew up thinking I would want to do something in the medical field too. I was a nursing major the first two years at Mount Weather, but I recently realized that it wasn’t really something I loved. I just happened to be good at it and knew my mom liked the fact I was doing something similar to her. You’re lucky you found something you love so early on,” I say. I felt like I should share something about myself since he let me know a bit more about him.

“You seem the type that’s able to succeed in anything they try,” Bellamy replies. “You’re the lucky one.”

“If only that were the case,” I laugh.

Bellamy smiles at the road in front of him and we continue the rest of the trip in comfortable silence, listening to the quiet breaths coming from Octavia.

-

By the time we’re close to the Blake house, Octavia is awake and pointing out all the sites of her childhood.

“This was me and Bell’s school! Bell got suspended for punching this kid Murphy when he called me a whore in seventh grade. I didn’t even know what a whore was.” Octavia points at a huge building with minimal windows.

“You guys went to the same school?” I ask.

“The town isn’t very big, so everybody goes here. K through 12,” Bellamy replies absentmindedly. "And Murphy had it coming. He was a dick to me all year,” he laughs.

“Ooh and that’s where Mom and I used to get ice cream every Wednesday! If you brought your own banana, you got a free banana split,” Octavia recollects happily. “And over there is where we’d bounce that kickball back and forth for hours, remember Bell?”

I glance around at the small town and wonder what it was like to grow up here. I grew up in a bigger city so Mom could be close to the hospital and Dad close to his office. Not having a sibling to play with led to me not getting out much. I can picture a young Bellamy watching over an even younger Octavia out on the street and silently think about how different my childhood could have been.

We finally pull up to a quaint home with white walls, blue shutters, and a wraparound porch.

“Home sweet home,” Bellamy says as he searches my face, looking slightly uncomfortable.

“It’s cute.” I smile at him while Octavia is already unpacking her bag.

Seemingly satisfied with my response, Bellamy steps out of the car and takes both my bag and his.

“There they are, my two beautiful offspring!” I hear. This must be Mrs. Blake.

Their mom is dressed in an eccentric, loose dress which goes along with the décor of the front porch. Her eyes are kind and her cheeks are sprinkled with the same light freckles as Bellamy.

Octavia and Bellamy both take turns giving their mother a hug as I stand back watching quietly.

“You must be Clarke,” she says as soon as Bellamy was released from the hug. She reaches for me and I hug her back.

“Yes, thank you for having me over. I really appreciate you letting me come.”

“Any friend of my children is a friend of mine,” she says sweetly. “Come in, come in!” She gestures for us to follow her and is already talking at 90 miles per minute about something I can’t make out.

The Blake home is comfortable. Tons of pictures and paintings line the walls of the entry way. I scan the walls and find several versions of young Octavias and Bellamys smiling back at me. I grin at Bellamy's baby photos; his wavy curls almost the same as now. The living room is filled with mismatched chairs and a sofa that somehow all work together. A small TV sits against the wall and a cooking show is playing silently.

Bellamy and Octavia drop the bags near the couch and I follow them around the corner to the kitchen. It is equally as eclectic as the rest of the house; mugs are displayed atop a shelf on the wall, each one different from the others. I imagine there is a story behind every one.

“Lunch is almost ready! Wash up and get yourselves something to drink,” Mrs. Blake says happily.

I follow the lead of Octavia and Bellamy and fix myself a glass of water.

Over lunch, we have the usual small talk about school and the drive over. Mrs. Blake probes me with questions about school and Octavia teases about how studious I am that I never leave my room. Bellamy glances at me several times during the meal and I wonder what he’s thinking.

After helping with the dishes, Mrs. Blake asks Octavia and me to make a grocery run for dinner.

“Ughhh, we just got here!” Octavia whines.

“Oh hush, don’t complain. You can show Clarke around the town while you’re out,” she states. “While I’m thinking of it, Bell, can you help me with the yard?”

Mrs. Blake’s words trail off as she is already walking out of the room until I can’t hear her any more. Bellamy shoots a look of understanding to Octavia and follows his mother out.

-

“What do you think of this color?” Octavia asks me for the hundredth time as we’re browsing the racks at the mall, the groceries temporarily forgotten.

“Honestly? I ask. “It looks good like the rest of them…”

“Clarke, you’re literally no help. Even Bellamy is more fun to shop with!” Octavia throws up her hands in exasperation.

“Sorry, it’s just not really my thing.” I give her an apologetic look.

“Well, I’m getting this one,” she says anyway, holding up the dress to her body with a wicked grin. “Red is my color.”

The sun is already starting to set by the time Octavia finishes at the mall. We make it to the grocery store just as the sun dips below the clouds.

“Better hurry or Mom will be pissed!” Octavia says as she rushes out of the car.

“Your mom seems so happy and collected, I can’t imagine her being anything less than sweet,” I laugh.

“Yeah, she’s gotten really like, chill or something after she recovered,” Octavia states.

I stare at her, confused. “Recovered?”

“Ah, shit. Forgot you didn’t know, sorry. Mom had breast cancer a few years back. It really took a toll on her. We thought we were going to lose her a few times.”

“Oh my gosh, I had no idea,” I say sympathetically.

“It’s okay, she’s a lot better now and has been in remission ever since. Bell dropped out of school and really took care of us. Since Mom couldn’t work, our only source of income was what Bell could bring home. He spent all his time either working or taking care of us. I don’t know how we would have survived without him.”

I realize now why Octavia and her brother are so close.

“Wow.” I try not to sound as shocked as I feel. “Bellamy told me he had to take a couple years off, I had no idea why. I’m sorry you guys had to go through that.” I don’t really know what else to say.

“We’re all stronger because of it. It’s in the past and Mom always says to ‘focus on the now,’ so that’s what we try to do!” Octavia shrugs and puts on a cheerier tone.

I think about how life must have been for them and can relate to how they must have felt. When Dad was in the hospital, barely holding on, I felt so desperate to do something and always wished I could have had more control over what was happening. I can’t imagine living through those feelings for any longer than the few hours I had to.

We checkout with our basket full of groceries and head back quickly to the Blake house, in a slightly more somber mood than the drive over.

-

“Pass the rolls please, sweetheart,” Mrs. Blake says over our very late dinner. “So Clarke, tell me about what makes you happy.”

A little taken aback by the question, I smile as best I can with a mouthful of food as I chew the bite I just put in my mouth. This gives me time to think of her question that I’m not usually accustomed to answering.

“Ummm…” I respond after swallowing. “Well, I like to draw when I have time.”

“Really? Fascinating! Any particular artists you enjoy?” she asks with interested eyes, keeping me on my toes.

“Uh, I’ve always kind of favored the works of women,” I reply. “I don’t know if I could pick a favorite, but I’m pretty inspired by Georgia O’Keeffe.” I’m suddenly self-conscious. It’s not every day that I talk to almost strangers about art.

“But you also like Degas, right?” Bellamy interjects.

All of us glance over to him, not expecting him to say anything. I’m shocked at how he could possibly know that.

I must look as dumbfounded as I think because Bellamy quickly recovers.

“I just noticed a Degas print on your desk earlier.” Now Bellamy is the one looking self-conscious.

“Oh. Yes…” I stammer, still slightly disconcerted. “ _The Dance Class_ is one of my all-time favorite pieces.”

He was in my room for a total of what, 30 seconds? How could he have possibly taken in that much of my room in that amount of time? God, I hope he didn’t notice anything embarrassing of mine. Though I’m kind of flattered that he noticed…

“I love that one too!” Mrs. Blake recovers after a beat, noticing the awkward tension at the dinner table.

Bellamy glances back down at his food with a flushed face. I can’t help but smile.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the love so far! As always, let me know whatcha think <3


	4. Bad Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovies, I'm going to try to continue updating this thing once a week! Here's to hoping I can keep it up! Enjoy :)

_The snow under my feet makes a satisfying squelching sound as I put one foot in front of the other. I feel the snowflakes accumulating in my hair and close my eyes to breathe in the crisp, fresh air. Very quickly, the scene in front of me changes. I’m no longer walking in the grass, I’m on a bridge. A car is driving towards me way too fast and I see my dad in the front seat. A wave of panic rushes over me sending a chill down my spine as I wave my hands, yelling at him to slow down. In the back of my mind, it’s like I know what’s about to happen, but my brain can’t quite make out what my subconscious already knows. A truck comes out of nowhere, T-boning Dad’s car on the driver’s side. I feel my knees go weak and I collapse into the wet snow on the highway._

I wake with a start, jolting upright in the makeshift bed on Octavia’s floor. My surroundings aren’t immediately familiar until my brain settles and I remember where I am and that I was having another nightmare. A bead of sweat drips down my neck as I quietly peel myself out of the comforters and blankets Octavia laid out for me. Octavia is breathing deeply, probably having much more pleasant dreams. I tiptoe lightly downstairs to get a glass of water trying not to wake anyone.

A calm, sweet melody reaches my ears making me perk up while I’m slowly taking sips of the cool tap water.

I follow the sound out of the kitchen and into the living room. The light in the backyard is on and Bellamy is sitting on the porch with an acoustic guitar.

Guitar, motorcycle, bulging biceps… I don’t have a chance in hell, stay-single-vow or not.

I make my way to the back door after placing the glass in the sink and grab a light blanket from the couch and wrap it around my shoulders.

“That’s really nice,” I say softly as I slide open the door and the chilly air reaches my bare toes.

“Jesus Christ, Clarke,” Bellamy says with a small jump in his chair.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” I chuckle. I take the chair next to him and gaze out into the peaceful, dark backyard, pulling my legs into my chest to keep warm.

“What are you doing up?” he asks, looking right into my tired eyes. The warm aura of the light in the corner of the porch illuminates his brown eyes in a comforting way.

“Bad dream,” I reply, suddenly conscious of my lack of makeup and girly pajamas hidden underneath the blanket.

“Ah…” he says awkwardly with a pause. “Do you want to talk about it?” He looks uneasy about possibly butting in too much, but he places his guitar on the table next to him as if preparing to focus on what I have to say.

“Just another dream about my dad.” I try to reply nonchalantly.

“Your dad?”

“Yeah… He died a few years ago in a car accident,” I trail off. “I was driving.”

Bellamy’s eyebrows pull together in concern but he doesn’t say anything, waiting for me to continue.

“I’ll spare you the emotional details, but I had just gotten my learner’s permit and needed experience driving. My dad took me out to drive one day after I asked a hundred times. It had rained a few hours before, so the road was still slick. The traffic light turned green so I started to drive, but somebody ran the light. I saw them coming but couldn’t make the decision to stop or speed up fast enough for them to miss us, and they crashed right into the passenger side of my car. Now I have dreams about it a few times a month.” I attempt to keep my tone as light as I can to avoid sounding too emotional. I hate when people feel sorry for me, or feel like they need to comfort me. It just reminds me of the funeral. Though Bellamy isn’t looking at me like I’m an injured bird. He is staring back at me so fiercely, it’s like he’s peering into my soul.

“That wasn’t your fault, Clarke,” he says gently.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone tells me. But I can’t help but feel kind of responsible, you know? If I hadn’t insisted on driving that day even though I knew the roads were wet, we wouldn’t have been in that intersection at all.” I let out a long sigh. “Anyway, I don’t want to dump all my troubles on you.” I barely know him after all.

“Sounds like you’re madder at yourself than the person who actually ran into you,” Bellamy observes.

“I’m the only person I can be in control of, so yeah. Guess I am,” I realize.

“Octavia made me read some teen book a few years ago and a quote from it still sticks with me. The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive,” he quotes empathetically, still staring into my eyes. “I think you need to forgive yourself, Princess.”

Bellamy hits the nail on the head and I know he’s right.

“Maybe once you do, your dreams will go away,” he finishes and waits for my response.

We sit in silence for a few moments while I take in what he said. I mentally remind myself to read the book he quoted.

“Maybe _you_ should be a psychology major,” I laugh, finally breaking the silence.

Bellamy’s serious expression melts away when he realizes I’m not about to break into tears or something. The corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles a little.

“Is that why you picked psychology?” Bellamy asks. “To help you understand yourself or something?”

“Not exactly, but it may make sense now that you mention it. I actually just had a really cool school counselor that helped me through it all, and I decided that that was something I’d like to do. Help other kids that are going through the same kinds of things,” I reply.

Bellamy nods his head in understanding and the silence settles between us again.

“My dad is out of the picture too,” Bellamy states after a while, now looking anywhere but at me.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I reply, not knowing what to say. He seemed to know exactly what to say at the right time, and now when the situation is reversed, I’m at a loss for words.

“Yeah. He didn’t die or anything, he just bailed when we were little.”

I try to think back to an earlier conversation, when Bellamy let his guard down for a moment and told me about his family life. “I thought you said your dad was a history buff?” I ask.

“He was. Or is, I guess. He had shelves and shelves of history books, nonfiction and fiction, and I remember him spending all of his free time in that study. When he left, I was just a kid. I thought if I read and loved the books as much as he did, when he came back home we could talk about them and he wouldn’t want to leave again. Obviously he never came back,” he says, still staring out into the black nothingness of the backyard. “He left us and I had to become the man of the house at eleven years old. I resent the hell out of him.”

“That’s a totally rational feeling,” I say softly.

He finally looks back at me with an indecipherable expression. “Such a lighthearted conversation we’re having, huh?” he asks with his signature smirk adorning his face again.

I chuckle lightly when I realize the heaviness that had set over us. “It’s good getting to know you though.” I glance at him warmly.

“I’m an open book,” he grins, leaning back into his chair as he folds his hands behind his head. I can just make out the curves of his broad shoulders and sculpted chest under his long sleeved shirt.

“Can I ask you a question then? I promise it’s not as morbid as our previous topics,” I snort.

“Ask away.”

“Why do you call me Princess?” I look at him sideways with genuine curiosity.

He seems caught off guard but bursts into laughter without warning. “I tell you I’m an open book, and that’s what you want to know?” he manages to make out in between full bodied laughs.

“Yes! Why is that so funny?” Now I’m laughing along with him.

Bellamy shakes his head and runs a strong hand through his tousled locks. “Does it bother you?”

I think before I respond immediately. “It doesn’t _bother_ me…” I start. “I’m just curious about the reasoning behind the name.”

He looks pensive in thought for a moment. “When I saw you the first time, you carried yourself with this… air of confidence,” he pauses. “You reminded me of a Princess or something with your perfect blond hair and how you didn’t put up with my shit,” he chuckles.

He thinks my hair is perfect?

“I apologize for being a dick when we met, by the way,” he continues. “Octavia is always trying to set me up with girls because she thinks I don’t have a life or something. I thought it was just another attempt at a setup.”

It makes sense now! It wasn’t because he hated me at all.

“And here I was, thinking all this time that I had pissed you off for some strange reason,” I admit.

“Nah. You’re pretty cool, Clarke Griffin,” he declares.

“As are you, Bellamy Blake,” I smile coyly.

Our eyes linger on each other for just a beat too long. I glance at my bare feet, suddenly flustered. He senses it too.

“You must be cold,” Bellamy states. “We should probably get to bed.”

“Yeah, absolutely,” I say almost too quickly. He grabs his guitar back up from the table and follows me back into the sliding door, flipping off the light on the way in.

We continue in silence as we climb the stairs until we reach the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

His eyes are bright as he shoots me that smirk of his. “Sleep tight, Princess.”

“Goodnight Bellamy,” I whisper back and turn away from him, back into Octavia’s room.

Back in my pile of blankets and pillows, I allow myself to recount what I’ve learned about Bellamy. I think of everything I learned about Bellamy from Octavia, and what I gathered from tonight’s events.

I’m happy to learn that Bellamy doesn’t hate me, and that I didn’t do anything to piss him off. My perceptions of him have changed drastically. He’s not the arrogant asshole I once thought he was. He’s deep, thoughtful, intelligent, caring… Even sensitive. Octavia was right. He’s a nice guy.

I find myself feeling… enamored by him. Like I’m finally finding out who the real Bellamy is. But do I want to allow myself to have these feelings? I told myself I wouldn’t let this happen. It’s still so soon after the breakup.

But then again, Wells and I are really done. There’s no chance of getting back together, so why not allow myself to be happy? Even if that happiness involves being with somebody else.

Wait, what am I thinking? It’s not like Bellamy just professed his love for me. We had one nice conversation, and now I’m in love with him?

I shake my head at myself and cover my face with my hands. I feel like a stupid teenage girl, but I can’t help but smile. I feel happy.

-

“Where’d you go last night?” Octavia grills me while rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“What?” I try to act coy.

“I woke up and you were gone in the middle of the night,” she says, peering over her bed at me.

“Oh, I went downstairs and got some water,” I reply.

I don’t really know why, but I don’t feel like explaining the events of last night to her. Her brother and I’s conversations felt personal, like I shouldn’t share what was passed between us. What I told her wasn’t technically a lie anyway.

Satisfied with my response, Octavia leads the way out of her room and downstairs for breakfast.

Bellamy is at the table, his bag sitting next to him already packed to return to school. Mrs. Blake is standing at the stove, cooking what smells like bacon and eggs.

“Good morning, good morning!” Mrs. Blake is already cheery.

Bellamy watches me take the seat across from him at the table. We exchange a playful look, as if our conversation last night has made us significantly closer. Though I guess it has. I understand him much better than I did, if nothing else.

“You look oddly happy for someone who isn’t a morning person,” Octavia notices groggily as she sits down with a glass of orange juice.

Bellamy snorts. “And you look like you got hit by a truck,” he replies jokingly.

Mrs. Blake sets down breakfast in front of us with a smile. “It’s been so nice having you guys home with me. You’re always welcome here too, Clarke.”

“Thanks Mrs. Blake.” I return her smile and help myself to the eggs.

We finish quickly and are packed and ready to go in less than an hour after breakfast.

After saying goodbye and thanking Mrs. Blake profusely, I climb into the backseat allowing Bellamy and Octavia to sit up front this time.

The ride home is full of laughs as Bellamy plays his favorite CD’s from his childhood. I notice we had similar taste in music as angsty teenagers which makes me chuckle.

Too soon we’re back at Mount Weather and saying our goodbyes.

Bellamy wraps Octavia in a tight embrace. “You’re crushing me!” she squeals.

I can’t help but admire their sibling relationship. As soon as Bellamy releases his sister, Octavia runs off into the dorm calling after me to hurry up.

“Thanks again for letting me come,” I say awkwardly, not very good at goodbyes no matter how quick the absence will be.

“The pleasure was all mine,” he smiles with an eyebrow raised.

“I’ll… um, see you later.”

“Oh don’t make it weird, just come here,” Bellamy teases as he wraps me into the same bear hug he gave Octavia.

I smell the alluring scent of his cologne and feel the muscular tension of his back muscles. I can’t help but melt into him a little bit, my body feeling so secure pressed up against his.

I feel myself lingering just a second too long and mentally chastise myself and pull away.

“Well, bye!” I squeak, sounding like an idiot.

“Later, Princess,” he laughs and walks towards his parked motorcycle.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had as much fun reading this chapter as I had writing it! Thank you to everyone who reads/ comments/ gives kudos; it means the world to me.


	5. Remember Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi babes :) Thanks for sticking with me! This chapter is a bit slow/short and lacking Bellamy. But I promise it will start picking up soon! I'll try to post the next chapter this week.

 

 

The transition back to school life is rough, even though we were only gone for a few days. My alarm goes off at 8am and I drag myself to the community bathroom. Nobody is showering at the same time, so I have enough hot water to take my time.

Back in my room, I throw some clothes on and twist my hair into a messy braid before I hear a light tapping on my door.

“Breakfast?” Octavia asks me as I open the door to her leaning her face against the door frame. She also has class in the morning; it’s nice not being the only one who has to be awake at such an ungodly hour.

“Let me grab my bag,” I respond, my voice still full of sleep. “Here, take this.” I hand her a warm to go cup of coffee I had just made myself.

“Is it that obvious that I didn’t go to bed until 3?” she laughs, gladly accepting the coffee as we walk together down the hall.

-

“Man, I miss your mom’s breakfast already,” I say to Octavia as I glance down at my questionable scrambled eggs from the dining hall.

“She makes the best food, doesn’t she?” she asks while spreading peanut butter on a bagel.

“I had a really good time. Definitely beat sitting in my room alone.”

“Had a really good time making eyes at my brother, you mean?” Octavia raises a knowing eyebrow at me as she bites into her food.

Was I being obvious?

I let out a short chuckle. “I was not making eyes at your brother,” I refute as I roll my eyes. “But I do think we’ve come to understand each other better. And I like him.”

“You _like_ like him?” Octavia asks with a goofy grin.

“What’s with you and trying to push me on your brother!” I attempt to shift the focus.

“Because you’re awesome and he needs somebody like you,” she replies, probably trying to get back in my good graces.

“I told you I’m trying to stay single,” I say seriously.

“What happened, anyway? You’re so hell-bent on being a cat lady,” she teases.

“You want the long version or the short?”

“As much as you can fit in in the thirty minutes until class,” she answers, suddenly very focused.

“Okay, where to start…” I breathe. “Basically I was with my boyfriend, Wells, for forever. Literally. We grew up together; our families were friends and we were best friends since birth almost. It just made sense to be with him. Things were really good until we went to separate colleges after high school. He goes to Arcadian University; it’s a few hours from here. We kept the long distance thing going, and we both agreed to visit each other when we could. Obviously we both had different lives now that didn’t involve each other as much anymore. I tried to go out and get friends at my own school, and didn’t go about it well…” I pause to take in Octavia’s expression. She hasn’t blinked yet.

“So…? Keep going!” Octavia urges.

“Don’t judge me, okay?” I ask uneasily. Octavia nods as if it’s already understood.

“Well I went out with some of my nursing friends. They brought me to some frat party. I was uptight about it, I had never been to a party like that and wasn’t really good friends with anybody there. People kept bringing me drinks and I drank with them, trying to loosen up. A few in and I was completely out of it. This guy, Finn, had been dancing with me all night and was really nice. Without even thinking through it, I hooked up with him. I didn’t even know him and Wells wasn’t even in my thoughts…”

I take a deep breath, trying not to get emotional. The memories are still so fresh.

“Anyway. I told Wells and he was rightfully furious with me. He broke up with me right then and there, over the phone, and he hasn’t talked to me since. And the kicker is that I can’t even remember what happened with Finn. So yeah. I don’t want to risk screwing up another relationship. I can’t imagine going through that again or making someone else go through something like that because of me.”

Octavia looks at me with eyebrows pulled together and a sympathetic expression settling over her face. “We all make mistakes,” she says trying to comfort me.

I nod tensely and glance at the time. “We have to get to class. Sorry for the heavy morning topic,” I try to give a comforting smile but it falters.

Octavia throws away our trash and links her arm with mine as we walk to class together until we have to separate.

I try to shake the memories so I can focus on class, but our lesson on Pavlov and classical conditioning isn’t engaging enough to keep me fully focused.

-

After class, I settle in at my desk, determined to get some studying in. I didn’t have much time to study at the Blake’s house over break, and I already feel myself falling behind.

The chapter in my textbook is mind numbingly boring, and my eyes unfocus immediately. My mind drifts to other things like, things I have to do, last weekend, and Mom.

Mom! I haven’t called her since I moved in. I quickly reach my phone and touch the screen to call home.

“Hey Mom, it’s me. How is everything?” I ask when she answers.

“Hi sweetie, I’m doing well. How is school? Do you have good classes?

I fill her in on my schedule and how I dropped psychoneuroimmunology. I also tell her about my weekend at the Blake’s, and she sounds pleased at my befriending them. We talk for almost an hour with me filling her in on the details of my life.

Hearing her voice makes me feel better; I can’t believe I didn’t think to call sooner.

“I love you, Mom,” I say before we hang up.

“I love you, more. Hang in there, okay?”

I “mhmm” in assent and hang up the phone, happier than before. Instead of returning to my homework, I take out my sketchbook and start randomly drawing, not sure what it will be just yet.

-

“We’re getting takeout and having a movie marathon.” Octavia informs me as she waltzes into my room after her classes.

“Oh is that so?” I joke.

“Yes. You need a girl night, and I need kung pao chicken.”

“Octavia, I’m fine! It happened months ago,” I whine a little bit.

“I believe that, you’re a kickass chick. But you didn’t have girl friends to cry with after your breakup with Wells, and I am here now. So we’re watching sappy movies and pretending like you need this. I brought The Notebook.” She looks at me very seriously, and I can’t help but give in.

“Alright, alright. Let’s get some egg drop soup, too,” I smile. “And Octavia? Thanks.”

She smiles broadly back at me and I’m thankful for a friendship like this one.

-

“God, we’ve been waiting for thirty minutes!” Octavia complains in the tiny sitting area of the campus Chinese place. “The Notebook isn’t going to wait forever!”

“Technically it is, we have the DVD,” I snicker.

I feel my phone vibrate in my lap and check it to see a text message from a number I don’t recognize. I open it to find a picture of a novel with smoke rising from an unlit candle on the cover and a text attached.

_Guide to escaping the labyrinth of suffering. Kind of a pretentious line, hope you don’t think I’m a douche. – B_

I smile inwardly and wonder how he got my number. I absentmindedly hear the bell on the door to the Chinese restaurant announce somebody’s entrance. Maybe Octavia gave it to him? Maybe he asked Octavia for it…

“They’re taking forever and nobody has been out here for a while, just so you know.” I hear Octavia say.

I glance up to see who she’s talking to before I can reply to Bellamy’s text.

“Finn.” I blurt out, shocked to see him. But I knew that the odds were good that I would run into him sometime. How serendipitous that I just told Octavia about him…

“Finn? Finn... Finn?!” Octavia finally realizes that the guy she just casually talked to about our poor service is the Finn that indirectly broke my heart.

“Whoa, Clarke. Hey,” Finn says, surprised.

I can’t manage to say anything else, but don’t know what I would say if I could. I just stare at him with wide eyes.

“Can I talk to you? I’ve wanted to talk to you since… last semester but never got your number or even your last name,” Finn continues.

Octavia looks at me with questioning eyes as if to see if I’m okay with it. I nod slightly to assure her I’m fine.

“I’m… gonna go pee.” Octavia declares as she slips away, leaving Finn and I alone.

“So, how are you?” Finn asks me as he takes the seat that Octavia just left.

“Fine,” I respond curtly.

“Look, I know we didn’t exactly go about things in the right way…” Finn starts.

“The right way? You had a girlfriend, Finn. And I had a boyfriend. It couldn’t get any more wrong,” I cut him off.

“I know, I know… But you did give me your virginity, and that has to mean something right? I’m not with Raven anymore.”

As if our drunken hookup wasn’t mortifying enough, he has to bring up my virginity right now?

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” I remind him. I vaguely remember him telling me he was single while he was making out with my neck. Later, I found out that was a lie when I got a drink poured on me by his girlfriend. “And don’t be too flattered. I didn’t know what I was doing that night.”

“Clarke, I apologize for how things went down in the past. I admit I wasn’t thinking with the right head, but it’s because I was really into you. I still am. I tried to find you for weeks after, but you never left me your number or anything,” he trails off. “I want to try this for real, if you’d just give me a chance.”

I can’t even begin to think of what to say, but thankfully the chime of a bell interrupts us.

“Number 27!” the worker of the Chinese restaurant calls out.

“That’s me,” I almost shout, relieved. “Bye, Finn.”

Finn opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but I get up to pick up the food and Octavia comes around the corner at the perfect time. She was probably there the whole time, eavesdropping.

We rush out, right past a gawking Finn and I don’t even look in his direction.

“Oh. My. God,” Octavia exclaims as soon as we’re out of the restaurant. “What the hell was that!”

“I don’t even know,” I admit. My mind is swimming with thoughts and emotions and I can’t wrap my brain around them.

“Did he say _virginity_?” Octavia recalls.

“Ugh, I can’t even think about it right now. Can we get some food in our stomachs first?” I plead.

“Of course, let’s go.” Octavia and I walk back to our room in silence while I try to get my thoughts together.

I place the food down on my desk and start unpacking it.

“Can we _please_ talk about this now?” Octavia looks like she’s about to die of anticipation.

“Alright, yes, he took my virginity. Which makes it a hundred times worse! I can’t even remember it.” I throw myself on the couch dramatically while Octavia takes over the food.

“Clarke, that’s a big deal. I hope that bastard was good to you,” she says. “And he had a girlfriend?!”

“Yep. And I had to find out by getting some sticky drink splashed in my face by her afterwards.” I shut my eyes trying to block out the memory.

“What a dick! And he has the balls to try and ask you out?” Octavia looks appalled.

“So you didn’t actually have to pee I take it,” I say while I rub my eyes.

“You think I was going to leave you alone with him? I don’t know what kind of guy he is!”

“Thanks for being my protector, O.” I manage to smile a bit.

“Okay, let’s forget about what just happened and have our girls’ night. Sound good?”

“Best thing I’ve heard all night,” I reply. Which reminds me, I never responded to Bellamy’s text.

I pick up my phone and read the text again, thinking about what to reply.

_Perfect timing. I could use a distraction, thanks._

Octavia puts on The Notebook and we chow down on the satisfyingly salty Chinese food.

“You know,” Octavia starts, the movie forgotten. “I have a terrible guy story too. It may make you feel better, just from the sheer embarssingness of it. Want to hear?” she smiles.

I return her smile and turn towards her, ready to listen.

“Long story short, my brother had this best friend in high school who was always at the house. Atom was his name. I was in middle school at the time, so I had this huge school girl crush on him. He was always really nice to me when Bell picked on me, so I was determined that I was in love with him. One day he came over while Bell was out, so we hung out for a bit. I decided he should be my first kiss, so I planted a big sloppy kiss on him when he wasn’t expecting it, right as Bellamy walked in on us. It was the worst kiss of my life and my own brother saw it happen! I was mortified. He and Atom aren’t friends anymore…”

Octavia laughs and I crack up with her. Her story does make me feel a bit better. I guess this is what having girlfriends is like.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Will post the next chapter soon <3


	6. Oppenheimer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes! I wanted to get this chapter up before Valentine's Day, because we FINALLY have a little more bellarke action. ;) But like I said before, this is a slow burn... Hope you enjoy!

 

I pull out my notebook from my backpack and start reviewing what we went over last class. I try to make sense of my scratchy writing. Dr. Wallace zipped through the end of World War I way too quickly for me to be able to write down all the facts last class.

The PowerPoint lecture is flipped on and everybody begins to settle in for the new lecture. I notice Bellamy isn’t in his usual seat in front of me. Right on cue, a ruffling sound behind me catches my attention so I glance behind automatically. Bellamy Blake has chosen the seat directly behind me, only inches away from my back. I turn back around in my chair and try to focus on the aftermath of the war, but he is so close to me I can hear his deep, even breaths.

I can’t explain the feeling, but somehow, I just know that Bellamy is staring at me. It feels like there is palpable energy running between us. I try my hardest not to turn around and give him the satisfaction of knowing that he’s distracting me. But I am completely distracted.

His characteristic scent fills my nose and reminds me of being pressed up against his body in the tight bear hug he gave me just days ago. His strong arms wrapped around my waist, forcing me on my tip toes and the feeling of his hard muscles under my soft hands… Oh my God, what is he doing to me?

Maybe I’m going crazy. He probably just came in late and didn’t want to disrupt the class by getting to his usual seat. He probably isn’t looking at me at all, I just make this stuff up in my head. Ugh, I’ll just look really quick. I’m not going to be able to focus until I do.

I slowly turn my head to glance in his direction. Bellamy is staring at me with intent, straight into my eyes, and doesn’t look away when our eyes meet. I return his gaze, trying to decipher what he’s thinking, but quickly turn back around before the eye contact becomes any weirder.

What the hell? Why is he staring at me?

He chuckles softly behind me. He’s enjoying this! That bastard. Loveable bastard…

Dr. Wallace continues on and on about facts I can't focus on. I try to at least write down the words on the PowerPoint, but every time I gain a little bit of focus, Bellamy clears his throat or shifts in his seat and I'm brought back to thinking of him.

The rest of the lecture doesn’t go much better. I can’t focus at all on my notes, hyper aware of Bellamy within touching distance behind me.

Class finally ends and I glare at Bellamy while packing up my things.

“Clarke,” he nods his head at me in greeting. “You’re burning a hole in my face.”

“Good,” I reply. Maybe you’ll know how I felt all class.”

“What do you mean? I was learning about the war, just like everyone else,” his eyes give off a sarcastic twinkle.

“Please, we both know you were trying to distract me.”

“Why would my presence be such a distraction to you, Princess?” he shoots me that lopsided grin of his.

This was his plan all along. He wants me to admit that there’s something between us, I just know it. There _is_ , undeniably. But I can’t give him the gratification.

“…Your loud breathing could wake a man from a coma,” I search to find an excuse.

“Loud breathing?” Bellamy laughs as I scowl up at him. “You never fail to keep me on my toes.”

I finally let a grin peak out of my angry façade.

“So, why did you need such a distraction the other night? Too much studying got you wound up?” Bellamy asks, referring to the text I sent him.

“Oh, um… I just had a lot -” I’m cut off by my phone ringing loudly in my pocket. The sound seems huge in the quiet hallway that only Bellamy and I are in. “Sorry…” I apologize while checking my phone. It’s Jasper, one of my best friends from home. “It’s my friend, let me just tell him to call later…”

“Hey Jasper, can I call you back in a minute?” I ask when I answer.

“Clarke, you need to check Twitter,” his voice urgent. “Finn’s psycho girlfriend got her evil little hands on a risqué photo…Of you.”

“What? Risqué how? How could she possibly have photos of me?”

“I don’t know, but you need to get on immediately. Maybe you can contact the site for them to take it down or something.”

“Okay,” I stutter. “Thanks Jasper.” I hang up the phone without a proper goodbye.

“Everything alright?” Bellamy questions, looking worried with eyebrows stitched together. My emotions must be all over my face.

“I have to go,” I reply, my eyes welling up with tears as I jog from Bellamy and back to my dorm.

My backpack is dropped haphazardly by my desk as I open my laptop and punch my password in as fast as I can. My hands shaking, I find the bookmark for Twitter and search for Raven Reyes.

My hand reflexively comes up to my mouth as a gasp escapes when I see the photo she posted. It’s of me, in a black lacy bra and matching panties that I had sent Wells trying to keep our long distance relationship interesting. The photo has been up for an hour already and has 50 favorites and retweets. The accompanying tweet is almost as embarrassing as the photo.

_Clarke Griffin, everybody. The trashy slut who will hookup with anybody willing!_

How could she have gotten this? It was only exchanged between me and Wells. And this was the only time I ever sent a photo like this! Did she hack my email? Did she contact Wells? No, Wells hates me, but he wouldn’t have sent this to her. He isn’t cruel.

Tears start pouring out of my eyes as I realize how many people can see the photo. People who go to my college, people who know Raven, people who know me… People who didn’t know me before certainly do now because my name is attached. Prospective grad schools can find this photo if they do a Google search for me. Raven is messing with my present life and my professional future.

I slam my laptop screen down, unable to look at the photo any more. I curl up in a ball on my floor and cry until the tears turn into full sobs.

Why now? Why me? I didn’t even know Finn was with her when we hooked up. She should be attacking Finn, not me.

My head hurts from all the embarrassment and crying. My sobs turn back into anguished tears, and my breathing is returning to somewhat normal as I try to pull myself together.

A knock on my door makes me jump.

“Clarke? Are you okay? Can I come in?” It’s Bellamy.

“Leave me alone,” I call out in a broken voice, making it obvious that I am not okay.

“Please,” he begs. “Let me in. I don’t know what’s wrong but I promise I’ll fix it or beat someone up if I can’t,” he says in a soothing tone.

I don’t answer in case my voice gives me away again.

“Clarke Griffin, if you don’t open the door I’m going to kick it in.”

This gets my attention; I would not put it past him to knock down my door.

I clamber to my feet and open the door to a concerned looking Bellamy. He takes one look at my face and pulls me into an embrace. I break down into a new round of tears as I bury my face in his chest.

“What happened?” he asks.

I try to calm myself down enough to explain to him that I don’t want to show him. It doesn’t work.

“Shhh,” he soothes. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

I think back to the night on the porch when I told him about my dad’s death and how insightful he was and how he made me feel better. I decide to let him in, once again putting down my walls for him. Any dignity I had is already gone anyway, after this sob fest.

I pull back from his embrace and sit down on the couch with my laptop. Bellamy takes it as his cue to sit next to me. I slowly open my laptop again, but keep my eyes squeezed shut, not wanting to see it. Instead, I slide the laptop over to his lap.

Bellamy takes in the scene in silence. I imagine him reading the tweet and expanding the photo of me. It’s too much for me to handle, so I wrap my arms around my legs and bury my face in my knees.

I hear clicks of the mouse and peek out from my lap to look at what Bellamy is doing.

“I’m reporting it so they’ll take it down,” he answers my silent question. “It says it’ll take a few hours, but they’re going to remove it. No one will be able to find it again.”

“It’s too late, everyone’s already seen it.” I respond, my voice finally more even. “People can save it and spread it.”

“Clarke, you can let this break you, or you can rise above it. I don’t know who she is, but she’s obviously no friend to you. Show her you’re better than her.” Bellamy explains.

“How? She’s just humiliated me in front of the whole school and possibly ruined my chances at grad school.” I bury my head back into my knees.

“By showing her she didn’t win.”

The tapping of the keyboard makes me glance up at him again.

“Approve?” he asks, gesturing to the screen.

I wipe my eyes and look at the tweet he just typed out on my page.

_Damn, I look pretty good._

I half laugh, half cry when I finish reading the tweet he wrote for me. I nod my head and Bellamy hits the “tweet” button. I watch as it adds itself to my homepage.

“Thank you,” I say gratefully as I lean my head against his shoulder. I exhale deeply and feel a weight lifted off my chest. I’m not out of the woods, but Raven didn’t win. I accepted it. I owned it and showed that it didn’t affect me. And that’s the best kind of revenge.

We sit quietly for a few breaths; I’m too emotionally drained to say anything right away. After I regain my composure, I peek at Bellamy’s face clandestinely. He looks calm but perplexed.

“Guess you’re probably wondering what that was about,” I observe.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Bellamy replies thoughtfully.

“You got me through that. You deserve to at least understand what you helped me with, right?”

I tell him everything: cheating on Wells, losing my virginity to Finn, running into Finn again, and Raven hating me because Finn cheated on her with me. I left out the part about Finn wanting to get together though.

Bellamy listens attentively. He looks surprised and angry, all at the right times. I don’t know why I tell him everything in such detail, but I feel like I can trust him. Bellamy doesn’t judge me, but raises me up. If the past five minutes didn’t prove that, I don’t know what will.

Now he knows everything up until a minute ago. The good news is, he hasn’t run away from me screaming. But, he also hasn’t said anything in what seems like forever.

Finally, he breaks the silence. “So… You’ve only had sex with one guy?” he asks.

“Out of that entire story, that’s what you picked out as the most shocking?” I gawk at him, dumbfounded.

His face breaks out into a huge smile. “I’m just messing with you, Clarke.”

I let out a genuine laugh, feeling better than before.

“Am I interrupting something?” Octavia asks, sarcastically seductive from my doorframe. Bellamy must not have shut the door all the way.

Bellamy and I glance in the direction of her voice.

“Whoa, what did I miss?” she asks, clearly shocked as to why my face is red and puffy.

“The usual shit that happens in my life now, apparently.” I sound like a sullen teenager but don’t care. “I can’t catch a break this week.”

Octavia drops her backpack next to mine and sits in front of Bellamy and me on the floor, my couch not big enough for the three of us.

“Spill,” Octavia urges.

“Remember I told you that Finn had a girlfriend when we got together? And she dumped that drink on me? Well, she’s at it again,” I respond, more pissed than upset this time.

“What did she do?” Octavia searches my face.

“You can see for yourself, everyone else already has…” I trail off as I hand her the laptop.

Octavia’s eyes bug out. “Who is this bitch?”

“Her name is Raven, she’s out to get me for some reason,” I answer.

“No, not that bitch, I’m talking about the sexy bitch in the picture!” she whoops and winks at me, beaming.

The three of us laugh together and I’m so thankful for the two siblings I’ve befriended.

-

The excitement of the day’s events eventually die down and the three of us settle in and turn the TV on. After a couple of hours, Octavia starts packing up her things.

“Alright, it’s 7:00, I gotta go study for my biology test tomorrow. My first college test and I’m totally unprepared,” Octavia confesses.

“That’s my little sister, making the family proud.” Bellamy laughs sarcastically.

We say our goodbyes and I expect Bellamy to leave as well, but he doesn’t.

“Let’s go out,” he says instead.

“Out?” I question.

“Yeah, I’m getting you out of this room. Take your mind off of things for a bit.”

“What do you have in mind?” I ask.

“Let’s see a movie. On me,” Bellamy adds.

I could use a change of scenery. I’m definitely not opening my laptop again until the photo is gone. And I wouldn’t mind hanging out with Bellamy at all…

“That sounds wonderful right now,” I reply with an exhale.

-

Bellamy hands me a big, black helmet that matches his motorcycle.

“Safety first,” he claims.

I forgot Bellamy doesn’t have a car. “I don’t mind driving…” I croak.

“Oh, come on Princess. Let yourself have a little fun. You can trust me,” he pushes with a glint in his eye.

“Don’t make me regret putting my life in your hands.” I squeeze my head into the helmet and wait for Bellamy to mount his bike first. I follow suit awkwardly and he lets out a breathy snicker.

“Wrap your arms around me and hold tight,” he says as if it’s no big deal.

I obey quickly, feeling every bulge of his abdominal muscles against my forearms. That’s all it takes to make me forget about everything that’s happened today.

As soon as Bellamy feels me grab onto him, he pushes off and we’re speeding through the parking lot of my dorm.

A rush of fear floods my body and I squeeze Bellamy so tight it probably restricts his breathing.

“I got you,” he says simply, muffled by his helmet so I can barely hear it.

I take a deep breath and look around. Everything is rushing by so quickly, I can’t really see anything at all. Then I peer up at the sky.

A laugh escapes me before it even registers, and I loosen my grip around Bellamy’s waist. The purple and pink clouds seem to pass slowly which makes me relax a bit. The speed makes me feel so free and the rush is addicting.

A bold idea hits me. Why the hell not? I unwrap my arms from Bellamy and raise them high above my head like I’m on a rollercoaster. An excited holler leaves my mouth as I fling my head back, looking at the sky again.

The orange sky of the sunset is rushing past making me feel so alive. I return my hands to the muscular guy in front of me, but this time I wrap them under his shoulders, hugging him to my chest. I feel him laugh against my front. Warmth floods my body and it’s not just from the close contact.

“Amazing, right?” he asks when we park.

“That was… beyond incredible,” I reply in awe.

Bellamy dismounts the bike with a goofy grin and offers me a hand. Once I’m up and stable, he moves his hand to the small of my back, guiding me towards the movie theater.

We didn’t check the movie times before we left, so we scan the monitor in the ticket booth to see what we could catch.

“Looks like Big Hero 6, unless you want to wait an hour.” Bellamy looks at me to answer.

“Big Hero 6 looks cute,” I laugh.

He buys my ticket and a small bag of popcorn for us to share. I wonder if he thinks this is a date.

The theater is completely empty except for us; the movie has been out for a while. The lights dim as soon as we sit down and the previews start.

We talk through the previews, Bellamy cracking a joke after every lame looking trailer. Both of us quickly eat the popcorn since neither of us have eaten dinner yet. There’s something nice about sharing something with him. It makes me feel like we’re close, even though we’ve hardly known each other a few weeks.

The movie finally starts and we quiet down to focus on the animated movie. Bellamy glides his arm across my shoulders nonchalantly.

I’m suddenly very alert. My shoulder is tucked just under his, and his body is so close to mine. I notice then that we didn’t put the arm rest down between us. His warmth radiates into my side and his usual scent fills my nostrils which makes me swoon.

I pull myself together long enough to catch the first few minutes of the movie. Not ten minutes in, and I’m crying at a character death. My emotions from before obviously not in check yet.

Bellamy notices the tear that betrayed me running down my cheek and he rubs his hand on my shoulder. He doesn’t take it away.

I pretend like I don’t notice and direct all my attention to the movie. I believe I’m doing a very good job of playing cool, but I feel like butterflies are having a war in my stomach.

The movie seems to drag on forever. I’m still intensely aware of our proximity. I finally decide to risk a glance up at Bellamy.

He glances back down to meet my gaze, our faces only inches apart.

My thoughts start racing. Stay-single vow? Why bother? There’s an amazing guy right next to me, looking at me with what I think is attraction. Why should I abide by some societal norm that says I need to wait a certain time to get over an ex? I like Bellamy, and he’s looking at me the same way.

My palms start to sweat as I give myself permission to choose Bellamy.

Before I know it, he’s leaning in and I’m reaching up to meet him. Our lips barely apart from each other, I quickly peek at his eyes like I’m asking if this is about to happen. My hand finds its way to the middle of his chest.

I close my eyes and stop moving to make Bellamy come the rest of the way. I feel, rather than see him lean even closer.

Then the lights flicker on. Bellamy stops moving closer, I open my eyes to meet his, and we separate ever so slightly. The movie ended without us realizing and the theater is lit up, telling us it’s time to go...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, it's a slow slow burn. But all in good time, my dears. :) Please leave feedback if you liked it! Kudos and comments encourage me to write! Thanks for reading!


	7. Who's With Us?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real life has been really crazy lately, my classes are no joke. But I still wanted to update weekly, so this chapter is a bit short and fluffy. The good Bellarke stuff is FINALLY coming very soon though! :)

Five seconds. Just five seconds earlier and _something_ would have happened. Dammit, Griffin. Oh right, Bellamy is getting up. I should move.

“Guess we should get out,” Bellamy says reluctantly as the theater workers come in to clean up.

“Yes,” I say too quickly, trying to play it cool even though my insides are swimming.

“Like the movie?” he asks, avoiding the subject of our almost kiss.

“It was cute,” I lie, not knowing if I enjoyed it because I wasn’t paying attention. “Did you?”

Bellamy just nods his head with a slight smile; I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

I check the time on my phone. “Think the picture is gone yet?” I ask, reluctant to get back to reality.

“Hard to say. You can come back to my place if you don’t want to head back yet,” he replies.

It hits me then that I have no idea where Bellamy lives.

“Anything to avoid going back to that,” I murmur absentmindedly.

“Ouch,” he says, pulling his hand up to cover his heart.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant!” I try to recover. “I’d love to see your place; it’s just a plus that I can postpone going back.”

“I think I’m taking back the invitation…” he responds sarcastically.

“Oh shut up, take me there.” I roll my eyes and grab the helmet from his hands.

I climb on the back of the motorcycle before him this time, waiting for him to sit in front of me.

“Take-charge-Clarke, huh? Well alright then,” Bellamy chuckles and carefully mounts his bike after putting on his own helmet.

“Hold on,” he reminds me.

I slide my hands back around him and rest my head against his back.

Bellamy takes us on a much slower cruise this time, taking his time and letting me see the dark surroundings. I feel light and happy on the back of the motorcycle, unsure if it’s because of the rush or because of the guy I’m holding onto.

A few minutes later, we pull up to a quiet apartment complex. Bellamy parks in front of a corner apartment and moves to take off his helmet.

I follow suit as I look around. I have no idea where we are; Bellamy didn’t take the main road. The complex is dark and nobody but us are outside.

“Quiet,” I observe aloud.

“It’s nice. It isn’t a college apartment complex so there’s never any crazy parties or anything. I prefer the quiet.”

“We must be far from campus then,” I say as Bellamy leads me towards his home.

“I like being far away from that sometimes,” he says simply.

We finally reach a door on the first floor and Bellamy looks at me cautiously, searching my face once again to find out what I think.

I stay silent this time, suddenly a bit nervous to be seeing where Bellamy lives. It seems even more personal than seeing the house he grew up in. This is where he spends his time and comes back to recover from the day every day. It hits me again how little I know about Bellamy still.

Bellamy takes his keys out of his pocket slowly, pausing at the door as if thinking about letting me inside. I wonder if he invites people over often; it doesn’t seem like it.

Almost reluctantly, maybe apprehensively, he pushes the door open and leads me into the dark entryway.

Bellamy’s scent is the first thing that hits me. It smells so… him. It makes me immediately feel safe which is unnerving considering he isn’t my boyfriend. Is he my friend? I don’t know what he is to me, but I’m hoping to find out more soon.

He flips the light on after mumbling a quick apology and my eyes try to adjust to the sudden light.

A short hallway to the right leads to what I imagine is his room. The hallway in front of us leads to the rest of the place, and I follow Bellamy into the heart of his apartment. The kitchen is very clean, not a dish in sight. It’s not normally what you’d see in a college student’s apartment. I wonder if he always keeps his place so clean. The living room has one large, black couch with a few pillows and blankets throughout. Everything is actually decorated very nicely.

“Your place is really nice,” I say genuinely after I notice Bellamy staring at me for what seems like an eternity.

“Thanks. Octavia helped decorate when I moved in…” He trails off and looks self-conscious again.

“You seem a little uptight.” Oh God. Did I just say that out loud?

Bellamy smiles, his nervousness fading a little. “I don’t typically have people over,” he replies.

“Ever?” I ask.

“I guess I never think to invite people over,” he chuckles.

“But you invited me over,” I push.

“Yeah, guess you’re pretty lucky.” He shoots me his signature smirk and plops down on the couch, more confident than before.

“Wait, is this a pity invite?” I sarcastically ask with mock surprise, my mouth popping open for effect.

“I don’t feel that bad for you, you know. I wasn’t lying in that tweet.” He narrows his eyes at me with a playful expression dancing behind them.

Is he admitting that he finds me attractive? I walk over to the couch and sit down next to him, giving me time to think of a response.

“Leave it to you to find pleasure in my misfortune,” I add, trying to ignore his compliment.

Bellamy laughs. “It’s not that, it’s just that it’s been good getting to know you. And I don’t mean that in a creepy way because you showed me that picture, I just mean that tonight was nice. Minus the shitty part…”

His rambling makes me burst out laughing. Seeing Bellamy flustered is such a change from when we first met, it’s actually kind of cute.

Bellamy shakes his head to himself, blushing, and flips on the TV to avoid being any more awkward. I settle in next to him, pulling a fluffy, black blanket over my lap.

The energy between us is obvious. It’s literally like I can feel a pulse moving between his side and mine. It’s a feeling I never felt with Wells, and I wonder if this is how it is supposed to be.

Bellamy shifts his body so it’s angled towards the TV which moves his upper body closer to mine. He lets his arm fall onto the couch between us.

I stare at it like it’s a foreign object. What do I do? Was that a sign that I should get closer to him too? Am I supposed to touch his arm..? Ugh, I never had to guess about this kind of stuff with Wells! I feel like an inexperienced tween.

“Um, where’s your bathroom?” I blurt out in a moment of panic.

“Down the hall, on the left,” he responds.

I hurry down the hallway and turn when I make it to the door. Bellamy’s bedroom is on my right, the bathroom on the left. My curiosity gets the better of me. I peek my head into the cracked open door of his room. Just a quick look…

Before what I’m doing even registers, I’m fully in his room, taking in everything. His navy blue comforter is flipped open from when he woke up this morning. His walls have a couple of pictures here and there and his bookshelf is stocked with books. I recognize a few classics, but the others seem to be history related. It’s obvious which his favorites are; several are very worn like they’ve been read over and over. His room is clean, but not quite as clean as the rest of the apartment. I notice a few shirts and socks scattered in a corner. For some reason, it makes me smile. Like I’m seeing Bellamy the normal guy, not the put together, motorcycle riding, perfect brother Bellamy.

“Did you get lost on your way?”

I jump at the voice behind me, caught red handed.

“God, Bellamy. You scared the crap out of me!” I gasp.

He gives me a knowing look as if catching a child sneaking into the cookies before dinner.

“I… got curious. Sorry,” I blush deeply and turn away to hide my face.

“Find anything interesting?” he asks sheepishly.

My eyes search the room as I struggle to find something to say. My gaze rests on the photo of him and his family on his nightstand. Bellamy notices.

“That was from a vacation we went on a few years back…” he trails off.

“You really care about them, don’t you?” I observe.

“They’re all I’ve got. I guess that’s why I’m kind of weird about letting anyone else in. I’m… protective of what we have and I’m afraid of what other people could do to us.”

I finally realize why Bellamy is always so concerned with what I think about his personal life. Peeling back the layers of Bellamy keeps me on my toes. I feel flattered that I am one of the only people he seems to be letting into his life.

“Yeah, I get it. I feel the same way about my mom,” I say as I sit down on his unmade bed.

Bellamy walks over to a shelf in the corner and messes with something I can’t see. Music fills the room as he walks back over to me, sitting next to me on his bed.

“I feel like we click, Clarke.” Bellamy stares into my eyes seriously as if trying to convey how much he means that.

“I do too,” I reply back. “Like we were meant to meet.” My honesty shocks me because it’s not even something I’ve thought to myself before. But I know my words are true, the connection we have is evident.

He smiles at me and falls on his back, glancing up at the ceiling. I follow suit and feel the chemistry between us once again. I decide to steal a glance at his face while his eyes are trained on the ceiling. I feel oddly at ease lying next to him, even though I was uncomfortable sitting next to him on the couch just minutes ago.

We lay next to each other silently, listening to the mellow sounds of his music for a long time.

_He calls her up on the telephone_  
 _Losing track of the week and forgetting their names when he meets them_  
 _If he could die from aching bones_  
 _People would gainfully miss him,_  
 _But he's not going to die from attrition_  
 _So who's with us?_

My eyes close eventually, feeling so relaxed wrapped up in everything Bellamy.

“Hey, Princess.” I’m shaken from my sleep, not realizing I had dozed off. “Probably time I get you back,” Bellamy snickers.

“Ah, shit. Sorry for falling asleep,” I mumble. “I’m loads of fun on dates.”

“Date, huh?” he asks.

Did I just say this was a date? Damn you, sleepy incoherence.

“…Please ignore I said that. I know this isn’t a date that was just the tiredness talking.” I try to recover but I fail miserably.

Bellamy’s eyes crinkle as a grin spreads over his freckled face. “Always keeping me sharp,” he chuckles, offering me a hand to climb off the bed.

I decide not to dig my grave any deeper and keep my mouth shut as I hop off and follow Bellamy out of his room. I take a mental picture before we exit the apartment, just in case I won’t be back any time soon.

Bellamy leads me out to his motorcycle and I climb on with no problem, the process already becoming more natural to me. I hold on to Bellamy as he pulls out of his parking space and I try to relish the feel of him so close to me, not knowing when it will happen again.

The trip passes by in a flash and too soon we are back in front of my dorm.

Bellamy dismounts his bike and offers me a hand. He walks me to the door and we turn to say our goodbyes.

“Thank you for today, Bellamy,” I look directly into his eyes to convey how much I appreciated having him today. “I don’t think I could’ve gotten through it without you.”

“Yes, you could’ve,” he says absolutely. “You are strong, Clarke. You just needed someone to remind you.”

Bellamy leans in for a hug and I instinctively stand up on my toes to meet him. Before he pulls away, and before I can talk myself out of it, I plant a soft kiss on Bellamy’s warm cheek.

We pull apart and Bellamy looks at my lips and up to my eyes to gauge my expression.

I probably do the same but all I am thinking about is what’s going to happen next. Bellamy and I both hesitate, so I take it as my cue to turn around and head up to my room. Building the suspense will make it better when it happens. Well, if it ever happens. That whole playing hard to get thing… Maybe it’s overrated.

I shoot a glance back at him over my shoulder once I’m inside, and Bellamy is still standing in the same place, watching me walk away with a warm pink coloring his cheeks. He smirks at me when he notices me looking at him, and I let out a slight giggle in return before I continue up to my room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness and continual slow burn! Hopefully real life will calm down soon and I can focus more on writing. Let me know in the comments if you like what I'm doing! It inspires me to write faster, really!  
> <3


	8. We Come Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday! That means new chapter. :) You guys have been awesome for sticking with me! It's been motivating me to update every week, so keep it coming. Hope you like <3

 

“Helloooo, Mount Weather. We have arrived!” A grin stretches across my face as soon as I hear Monty’s loud voice in the hallway.

I open my door to find my two best friends walking towards me but checking out one of the freshman girls walking past.

“This is why I love big colleges,” Jasper says, looking the girl up and down, making her giggle as she passes by.

“Hey, you guys are supposed to be here for me!” I pout sarcastically.

“Oh calm your tits, blondie. You know you’re our number one,” Jasper teases while pulling me in for a hug.

After the series of events as of late, I’m so excited to have my friends here. It puts me at ease immediately, like nothing can bring me down while they’re here.

“I’ve missed you guys so much. Thank you for being here,” I sigh.

“We got your back,” Monty smiles.

“What’s up with all the racket out here?” Octavia pokes her head into my room.

“Hey, little lady.” Jasper is already right in front of her face, putting on the moves.

“Calm down, Jasper. This is _my friend_ Octavia. She will not be subject to your cheesy pickup lines and pathetic attempts at flirting,” I laugh as Octavia breaks out into a smile. “Octavia, these are my best friends from home, Monty and Jasper.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” she replies happily.

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” Monty says. “Thanks for having Clarke’s back for that whole Raven-Twitter war thing.”

“Speaking of the Raven-Twitter war thing, when are we going to party?” Jasper asks as he flops down on my couch.

“Raven-Twitter war automatically means party?” Octavia asks, confused.

“Gotta let off some steam! Party it out!” Jasper announces loudly, making some sort of gesture that I think represents dancing. “Get a little drunk!”

“I’m in, let’s go.” Octavia declares, joining in on Jasper’s enthusiasm.

“I like this one!” Jasper half-shouts. He and Octavia launch into a conversation but I don’t hear what they’re talking about because Monty cuts in.

“You sure you’re good?” Monty asks me quietly.

“Yeah. I think getting out will be a nice change, honestly. Take my mind off things.”

My mind has been occupied by a lot recently. All the homework from my upper level classes, Raven out to get me, Finn out to get me back, Bellamy and our connection…

“I made you a new fake,” Monty announces handing me a very convincing ID declaring that my birth is one year sooner. He’s always had a knack for mischief. “I forgot to ask about Octavia, though. She’s not 21 is she?”

“Not yet,” Octavia overhears. “I can still get into the bars though. I wouldn’t be opposed to you guys just buying me drinks all night.” She winks in my direction and I roll my eyes.

“I’m a terrible influence,” I shake my head in reply.

“So it’s settled! We going tonight?” Octavia asks excitedly.

“Yeah, just let me do something with my hair and we can go.” I pick up a brush and Octavia runs into her room squealing with excitement.

Bellamy enters my mind and I decide to invite him.

_Friends from home are here, we’re going out to The Strip. Come?_

It’s so convenient having all our bars on the same stretch of road. If Bellamy comes, it won’t be hard to find us.

I don’t immediately get a response back so I continue getting ready in the bathroom while Jasper and Monty mess around in my room. Hoping Bellamy may come, I line my eyes lightly with eye liner and squirt a bit of perfume against my neck. My reflection in the full length mirror catches my eye. My fitted skirt shows off my butt nicely and the natural pinkness of my cheeks makes me look vibrant. Perfect.

The four of us head out together. Their excitement is contagious and I’m glad to be going out. I haven’t been out drinking since the night with Finn, but I think I deserve to let myself have a little fun. This time, I’m with real friends; I know they won’t let anything happen to me.

We enter the somewhat dingy bar that is already packed with college kids. A bouncer stops us to check ID’s. Jasper, Monty, and I get in easily. Monty knows how to make very good fakes. Octavia gets large X’s drawn over both hands signifying she’s not allowed to drink.

“I brought nail polish remover!” Octavia shouts at me over the music playing.

“What? Why?” I can’t imagine why Octavia would need to take her nail polish off at the bar.

“To take off the X’s!” she shouts back. Duh, Clarke. It’s so embarrassingly obvious how inexperienced I am.

“We’re gonna grab drinks!” Jasper shouts as he heads over towards the bar with Monty. There’s a huge line in front of the two bartenders who seem to be only paying attention to the provocatively dressed ladies.

“I think it’s going to be a while!” I shout into Octavia’s ear, even though she’s only inches away from me.

Octavia screams something back in return but I can’t hear her. She takes my arm and drags me to the middle of the room, so I assume it must have been about dancing.

Octavia starts to move to the music so freely it is like she was born to do nothing but this. I try to copy her inhibition but end up looking stiffer than a board.

My poor dancing skills are blatant, so Octavia grabs my hands to move me in rhythm with her. After a minute or two, I start to get the hang of it. Throwing my hair back, I take in everything around me, to my best friends being in the same room as me and my new best friend gyrating to the beat along with me. The only thing missing is Bellamy.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I register a warm hand touching the small of my back but shake it off as someone passing through.

“Clarke.” I’m shaken out of my dancing stupor by the voice behind me, his breath so close it sends uncomfortable shivers down my spine. His hand hasn’t left my back.

“What do you want,” I say as I turn around. My voice conveying every ounce of annoyance that I’m feeling.

Finn’s eyebrows raise in surprise by my coldness towards his arrival.

“Can I talk to you?” he hollers.

“You are, aren’t you?” I reply less loudly, not caring if he hears me or not. A ponytail swishing in the crowd suddenly grabs my attention. Raven is not ten feet away, glaring at me so fiercely I have to look away. “You’re here with Raven, Finn. What do you want from me?”

“I’m not with her, okay? We’re completely done. I saw what she posted about you on Twitter and I told her how low that was. I don’t want someone like that, I want to try you and me.”

With every word, I grow angrier and angrier. Why does he think I care even a little bit about what he wants? If not for Raven, I could probably muster up more calmness, but with the Twitter feud being so fresh, my emotions boil over and send me into a rage.

“There is no you and me, Finn! You fucked an incoherently drunk girl at a party and took advantage of me when you knew I was not in the right state of mind. That’s not somebody I want to be with again, so if you’d leave me alone that would be great.” I turn back around to Octavia to signify the end of the conversation. Finn doesn’t catch on.

“Clarke,” he says trying to grab at my wrist.

“Leave us alone, dude, she doesn’t want you! You fucked up!” Octavia laughs, apparently finding the situation comical, and drags me away to the bar.

I don’t glance back to see Finn’s expression. Frankly, I don’t care much. I’m just supposed to believe it’s a coincidence he and Raven are at the same bar at the same time? Finn has obviously lied before, so I’m not going to start believing him now.

“Whoa, what’s got Clarke all up in arms?” Monty asks Octavia as I grab the beer from his hand and chug it, still fuming.

“Finn has the balls to try and get back with her,” Octavia shouts to him while discretely scrubbing her X’s off under the counter with her nail polish remover.

“Where is that dick, I’ll give him a piece of my mind!” Jasper declares as he attempts to climb up a bar stool to get a better view.

“It’s fine Jasper, I can handle it.” I declare. “Raven’s here, though.” Monty’s beer was only half full, so I reach for another one and Octavia does the same. If this is how the night is going to go, I’m not nearly drunk enough.

“Raven’s here? With Finn?” Jasper asks incredulously. “She better be glad my momma taught me never to hit girls.”

“I think I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I announce, ignoring his comments. I just need some alone time to snap out of the funk I was just put in by Finn.

My three friends eye me warily, but I turn towards the bathroom before they can respond.

Drunken bodies flail around me as I squeeze my way through the crowd. I keep my eyes trained on the ground so I don’t accidentally look at Finn and strike up another unwanted conversation.

Finally, I make it to the gloomy bathroom with red walls and an unreliable florescent light that flickers occasionally. Surprisingly, I’m the only one in the bathroom so I take it as my opportunity to splash cold water over the back of my neck and stare at my reflection in the dirty mirror.

Don’t let one mistake ruin your night, Griffin. Don’t let one stupid night ruin your life, for that matter.

My inner monologue isn’t taking any shit tonight. I have to shake this off and not let it interfere with my life anymore.

The door swings open and a girl is inside before I can look up from my gaze in the mirror. When I finally do turn to see who it is, Raven is in front of me with crossed arms and a look that could kill.

My life couldn’t get any more perfect if it were scripted.

“Stay the hell away from Finn,” she threatens.

“I’m trying to,” I throw right back. “Get him to stay away from me.”

“I know you want to get back with him. I know you saw him at that restaurant.”

How could she possibly know that? This chick is crazier than I thought. That does explain the timing of the unsolicited Twitter hate, though.

“Raven, I want nothing to do with him. Or you for that matter. And if you had a shred of self-worth, you wouldn’t be threatening me to stay away, you’d be yelling at him for cheating on you in the first place. I didn't even know you guys were together at the time.” I step closer in her face to get my point across. “What you posted on Twitter was immature, but I dealt with it. But I _can’t_ deal with you harassing me because you are upset at yourself for being obsessed with someone who doesn’t want you back. So please, both of you just leave me alone.”

I push past her before she can say anything, but the expression on her face makes me believe she couldn’t make a rebuttal if she tried. I won this time.

Raven attempts to shout something after me, but all I hear is sputtering as the door closes on her.

Octavia, Jasper, and Monty are out on the dance floor, drinks in hand. I try my best to put on a happy face, even though I’m still too furious to enjoy myself. I don’t want any more of my drama to interfere with their fun though, so I do my best to push it from my mind.

“You good?” Jasper asks, mid hip-thrust.

“I’m good!” I shout back.

“We can go somewhere else!” Octavia says, beer in hand.

“No, let’s stay. I’m fine!” I reply. I slowly get back in the rhythm and try to have fun.

Monty and Jasper break out into a choreographed routine that makes the crowd back up to give them room. Octavia takes it as her chance to rope me into more dancing with all the extra space. A smile falls on my face after what feels like an eternity of scowling, and I start to finally have some fun.

A tall figure bee lining towards me grabs my attention. I see Bellamy making eye contact with me as he pushes his way through the crowd.

My smile grows even wider when I see him. The drama made me forget I invited him, but now that he’s here I wonder how I ever stopped thinking about him.

My heart skips a beat when he returns my smile.

“Hey,” I hear over my shoulder again. Finn just won’t give up.

“Finn, I’m sorry but I don’t want to talk to you right now. Please leave me alone,” I plead, more level headed now.

“I just want-” he starts.

“I believe she asked you to leave her alone.” Bellamy is by my side and in his face before I know it. I don’t know how he could have heard what I said over the noise of the music, but I appreciate it all the same. He slides an arm around my waist in a protective stance, still staring down Finn.

I almost laugh at the difference between Bellamy and Finn. Bellamy is all height and muscle, while Finn is soft and sweet. Bellamy’s chiseled jaw juts out in angular forms, while Finn’s round face shows his younger age. It would be more amusing if I weren’t so over the situation.

“Hey dude, this is none of your business. I’m just trying to talk to her,” Finn says sounding cocky.

“You’re making it my business, _dude_ ,” he sneers. “Walk away before you do something stupid.” Bellamy towers over Finn and looks so menacing. It’s a side I haven’t seen before, but something about it makes me feel comforted to be protected by him.

Jasper and Monty step up to flank Bellamy and Finn finally gets the hint.

“Alright, alright. I get it,” Finn says raising his hands. “See you around, Clarke.” Finn walks away, defeated. A twinge in my chest pulls at my heart when I see his crushed expression. I almost call out to him to apologize, but Bellamy pulls me back to reality.

“What was that about?” he asks over the pulsing music.

“That was Finn,” I reply solemnly. “He’s been trying to talk to me all night. Thanks for coming to my rescue.”

“You got it, Princess.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes as he assesses my expression. “Something wrong?” Bellamy has gotten good at reading my expressions.

“No,” I recover. “I’m glad you’re here.” I return his smile, genuine this time as I let myself be happy in his presence.

“It took me a while to find you. You didn’t text me back.”

“Oh sorry, my phone has been in my bag,” I respond. In all the fuss I forgot to check for his reply.

Suddenly I remember that there are other people in the room than just me and Bellamy.

“Oh right, Bellamy, these are my friends Monty and Jasper!” I shout so everyone can hear me.

Jasper and Monty take turns shaking his hand and exchanging hello’s. My heart warms with the realization that my old life can blend seamlessly with my new one.

“So which one of you gave my sister beer?” Bellamy asks, expression suddenly serious.

Octavia’s eyes widen as she looks down at the drink in her hand.

Monty and Jasper mimic her expression, both stuttering improvised excuses.

Bellamy watches them struggle for a moment before his face lights up with a laugh. “I’m just kidding. It’s okay guys,” he teases.

Everyone visibly relaxes when they register the joke Bellamy made to break the ice. The boys shout at each other incoherently and pat each other on the back, which I assume means that they’re friends now. I glance at Octavia and she rolls her eyes at their testosterone display, thinking the same thing as me which makes me chuckle under my breath.

“We’re going to grab some more drinks, you want anything?” Bellamy asks me with his crooked grin.

I shake my head in reply, happiness spreading on my face. It scares me a little how fast Bellamy can change my mood around. And how fine his ass is when he saunters over to the bar…

“Clarke!” Octavia shouts at my face.

“What?” I look at her.

“I asked why you had to invite my brother,” she laughs out loud. “But you were too busy checking him out.”

I blush, not even attempting to deny it this time. “I didn’t think you’d mind if he came!” I shout back.

“He’s a glorified babysitter! But it’s alright, I’m not trying to get in the way of that…” She winks her signature wink and gestures over to Bellamy at the bar. I roll my eyes at her and shake my head with a giggle.

Octavia grasps at a drink in Bellamy’s hand when they return and he snatches it away before she can get to it.

“I meant just that one drink was okay. You’re cut off,” Bellamy chuckles as Octavia scowls at him and shoots me an annoyed look.

This time I drag her into the middle of the dance floor to avoid a confrontation. Bellamy watches me dance intently which would usually embarrass me, but after everything tonight, I don’t let it inhibit me and I stare right back at him as I move to the beat.

-

“Could you at least move your legs a little?” Monty whines underneath Jasper’s arm as he drags him up the stairs to my room with Bellamy on the other side.

“My legs… Are moving so fast. It’s like lightning,” Jasper slurs.

“Maybe next time you should hold off on the Fireball,” Bellamy chuckles.

“FIREBALL!” Jasper shouts into the quiet hallway.

“Shhh, Jasper! I’m the RA, don’t make me look bad!” I berate but can’t help laughing at his feet tripping over themselves, so drunk he can’t even walk straight.

“Jasper, we’re going to play a game, alright?” Octavia says, moving to walk in front of Jasper so he looks at her. “You’re going to pretend that we’re… mice, okay? And we have to be as quiet as we can be so we don’t wake the big cat.”

“Big bad cat…” Jasper whispers very seriously. Octavia’s game works and Jasper keeps quiet the rest of the way to my room until Bellamy and Monty lower him down on my tiny couch.

“Thanks for your help,” Monty says to Bellamy.

“Don’t sweat it,” he replies as they do a guy handshake/high five thing.

“Alright Clarke, if you’ve got this covered, I’m going to go pass out.” Octavia gives me a hug and I thank her for some reason. It just feels right to.

“Octavia, fair maiden… I bid you adieu,” Jasper manages to make out semi-coherently as he blows drunken kisses in her direction with half closed eyes.

"I'm still here, Jasper," Bellamy says sternly.

Octavia cracks up but her voice is tired. “Goodnight, guys.”

“I’d better be heading out too,” Bellamy says.

“I’ll walk you back down.”

We walk side by side down the hall to the stairs very slowly. Neither of us wanting to part.

“Thank you for sticking up for me tonight,” I say quietly, not wanting to wake anyone on my hall.

“Don’t mention it,” he smirks. “You ever need any help with that Finn kid, you just let me know.”

I don’t reply immediately, reminded of how Finn’s face looked when he walked away from us.

“You looked really beautiful tonight, by the way.” Bellamy continues.

The blush in my cheeks warm my face immediately. “What, I don’t look beautiful every night?” I tease sarcastically, still not able to accept a compliment well.

“I just mean you looked… I don’t know, happy I guess.”

“You made me that way,” I confess.

Oh shit, that made it weird, didn’t it? “Um and having Jasper and Monty here has been good.” I grimace and hope Bellamy doesn’t notice.

“I'm happy around you too, Princess.” Bellamy shoots me his lopsided grin, not ignoring my comment like I wished he would.

I manage a breathy laugh, not trusting any more words out of my mouth.

“I’ll see you soon?” Bellamy asks when we approach his bike.

“I’ll see you in history,” I reply.

This, apparently, is not the answer he was looking for. A hint of disappointment flashes across his face briefly before he recovers.

“History it is,” he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes in the usual way.

Is he disappointed? I want to see him outside history though, obviously. Why didn’t I just say that? I feel the opportunity to correct myself slipping away, so I decide to leave it as it is.

Instead of letting my words screw me up again, I reach up to give him a hug instead. Bellamy welcomes my embrace and hugs me tightly to his chest. I swoon slightly at the contact, but too soon he’s pulling away and I’m back on my own two feet.

“Goodnight,” I murmur.

“Goodnight,” he replies simply.

I turn back into the dorm after waving Bellamy off as he put his helmet on.

A thought hits me and I pull out my phone to send a text before he drives away.

_You looked handsome tonight, too. –C_

I stealthily make my way back up the stairs, smiling to myself. Giddy, even after tonight’s drama. Bellamy is good for me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, let me know what you think! Until next week, my dears :)


	9. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves. Anyone else freaking out that the season finale is this week? I don't know what I'm going to do with my life during the hiatus. Guess I could keep writing. :) Hope you enjoy!

 

 

“Blerghhh, why did I drink so much?” Jasper moans through narrowed eyes.

“Trying to impress the girl, as usual,” Monty replies, laughing at his friends’ hangover.

I toss Jasper the bottle of aspirin, but his reflexes are too slow and it hits him in the face. I can’t help but giggle at him as I turn to make a pot of coffee.

“So, Bellamy…” Monty trails off as I hand him two mugs and he passes one to Jasper.

“What? What is that look?” I ask him.

“You’re in deep, girlfriend.” Monty eyes me with raised eyebrows.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I nervously laugh and return to the pot of coffee brewing to break eye contact. Can’t have my face betraying my emotions.

“Oh _please,_ Clarke.” Jasper chimes in. “It’s obvious you two have something going on.”

I shake my head while pouring the coffee in response.

“It was like your sunlight walked into the bar last night,” Monty says dreamily, half-joking with a small smile.

“And his light was so bright it blinded you from everyone else,” Jasper joins in dramatically.

I make a sound of protest, determined to stop the attack on my feelings about Bellamy, however true they may be.

“We understand each other, that’s all!” I exclaim.

Jasper and Monty look at me with disbelieving eyes in silence. I can’t help but break under my best friends’ gaze.

“Alright, fine. He’s kind of beautiful too,” I laugh.

“It’s time you let yourself be happy again,” Jasper says seriously this time, sipping at his coffee to swallow way too many aspirins. “You messed up but it’s in the past. And Bellamy looks like a good future.”

“I have to agree,” Monty adds.

“Wow, trading sassy for sappy this morning?” I tease.

“We just worry about you.” Monty lightly punches my arm as the three of us squeeze together on my tiny, high rise bed.

“I wish you guys didn’t have to leave,” I reply sweetly, sandwiched between Jasper and Monty.

“I think we’re leaving you in good hands,” Jasper responds, hugging me into his side and ruffling my hair like a big brother would.

-

Dissociative identity disorder… that’s when people hear voices? Ugh, no it’s multiple personalities. Okay um, Rett’s syndrome is mostly found in girls. I know that one. Schizophrenia is the inability to –

I’m pulled out of my flash card quizzing by a rapping on the door.

“Claaaarke,” Octavia whines. “You’ve been holed up in your room for four days!”

I glance at the clock on the wall and realize I’ve been studying for seven hours today alone. I open the door to an aggravated Octavia.

“What’s the point of living on the same hall if you don’t even see me?” Octavia pouts.

“Sorry, O. Midterms are coming up fast and I need to pull up my grades.”

“Clarke, you’ve got like, one B.”

“I know but I need all A’s to–”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But you haven’t left your room other than to go to class in days. Get dressed,” she demands as she marches her way into my room and plops down at my desk, closing my book and laptop.

I glower at her sullenly, but she doesn’t give in. She raises her eyebrow and moves her feet to the desk, getting comfortable for a long wait.

I drag out a long exhaling breath. “Where are we going?” I sigh.

“We’re going to drink,” she declares. “Monty mailed me an incredibly real looking fake ID!”

That was fast.

“And make sure you look hot, too. I want to get hit on tonight,” she grins mischievously. “Also, no Bellamy.”

I can’t help but smile at his name while I reluctantly turn to sort through my closet.

“This?” I ask, pulling out a striped sweater.

Octavia wrinkles her nose and shakes her head immediately. “I said hot, Griffin.”

“Why don’t you just pick it out for me then,” I respond with a roll of the eyes for effect.

Octavia hops up happily from her seat at my desk and starts tearing through my clothes for me. With a frustrated grunt, Octavia exits my room suddenly without saying a word.

A few seconds later, she’s standing back in my doorframe holding a sleek, black dress that I can already tell is going to hug my body.

“Octavia, that’s tiny!” I object.

“That’s the point,” she says with a wink. “Go on.”

I begrudgingly peel off my shirt and sweatpants and squeeze into the little number Octavia brought.

“Never wear anything else for the rest of your life,” Octavia announces slowly with a bewildered expression.

“What are you talking about?” I huff as I walk over to my full length mirror.

The girl looking back at me is all curves with soft edges that move in and out in all the right places. I’m shocked at how flattering the dress is on me and make a mental note to borrow clothes from Octavia more often.

I run a curling iron through sections of my hair while Octavia returns to her own room to change. I rub some concealer under my eyes to hide the dark circles and comb dark mascara onto my lashes.

Peering into my closet, I realize I have no shoes to go with the dress except for my one pair of black high heels. I slide my feet into them just as Octavia comes back into my room in an equally tight skirt and top.

“We’re getting some numbers tonight!” she exclaims after she looks me up and down.

“Let’s go, before I change my mind,” I mumble, only wanting attention from one particular guy...

-

“But why did we have to walk? My feet hurt already,” I complain, ten minutes into our walk to the Strip.

“We’re being responsible. If we get totally hammered, we won’t have to drive home. And by that I mean that I will not be designated driver tonight!” she beams, fake ID in hand.

We finally make it to the Strip and I insist on entering the first place we get to.

It’s a nice looking wine bar, thankfully. I’m not in the mood to deal with sweaty frat guys trying to cop a feel tonight.

The bar is full, with only a couple empty seats. The center of the place has a few tables spread around a small dance floor where several couples are dancing. Really dancing, not drunkenly hopping around. I could get used to this place.

Octavia and I snag the last two seats that are next to each other at the bar. The rather attractive bartender walks over to us immediately.

“What’ll it be?” he drawls, flirtatiously making eyes at Octavia.

Octavia starts to respond, but a blank look flashes over her eyes and she looks at me for assistance.

“We’ll take a bottle of Moscato, any brand.”

“Coming right up,” he replies with his best come hither look.

“Sorry, I’m not very experienced outside the lite beer arena,” Octavia laughs, color flushing her cheeks.

I give her a reassuring smile as the bartender returns, pouring us both glasses of the white wine.

“Oh, can I get your IDs?” he asks as an afterthought.

Octavia flashes her ID a little bit too proudly, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “You even make DMV photos look good,” he says with a smirk.

Octavia takes his flirtatiousness as an opportunity to return the flirty banter. I tune out a bit, my mind brought back to the other pile of flash cards waiting for me on my desk.

“Miller said this is his favorite wine,” Octavia says to me, bringing me back to reality.

“Miller?”

“Where do you go?” Octavia shakes her head. “Miller is the bartender!”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” I blush.

“How do you know about wine?” she asks.

“My parents used to entertain a lot. They always let me try the wine, so I got to know a few of them pretty well,” I respond simply.

Octavia’s eyes get wide as she tries a sip. “This is so good!” she exclaims.

“Beats Bud Lite, doesn’t it?” I chuckle as we clink our glasses and Octavia drains her’s quickly.

I catch a man on the dance floor looking at us from across the room.

“Don’t turn and look immediately, but there’s a crazy hot guy looking at us over there,” I point out.

Octavia pretends to fumble with something on her side and takes the opportunity to turn around and see who I’m talking about.

He looks older than us. Chiseled jaw and cheekbones, skin rich like coffee, and obvious muscles formed under his white button up shirt.

“Oh my God, he’s Adonis reincarnated,” she declares with wide eyes.

“He’s coming over here,” I alert.

Octavia quickly runs her hand through her hair and rushes to cross her legs which allows a nice arch in her back to form.

“Hello, ladies,” Adonis says, addressing us both. He has a slight English accent which immediately ups his hot factor by a hundred.

“Hi,” we make out.

“I was wondering if I could interest you two in some dancing,” he smiles genuinely. His face so sweet, I doubt this man has ever told a lie. “My name is Lincoln, may I ask yours?”

“I’m Clarke.”

“Octavia,” she squeaks.

Lincoln takes turns planting a chaste kiss on the back of our knuckles.

Octavia visibly swoons but I can’t help the thought of Bellamy flashing through my mind.

“I actually hurt my ankle on the way over here,” I lie through my teeth. “You guys go, though.” I smile at Lincoln and try to send a silent message to Octavia for her to go for it. By the way they’re looking at each other, I imagine I would be the third wheel anyway.

“Are you sure?” Lincoln asks in his wonderful accent.

I nod happily and the two of them make their way to the dance floor after Octavia shoots me a giddy look. I finish my glass of wine and chuckle as Lincoln tries to teach Octavia how to dance with a partner.

“You have a boyfriend?” Miller asks from behind the bar.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your ankle is fine, you let your friend have her moment with that guy.” Observant, I see…

“Oh, no, I just thought… they were a better fit,” I try and search for what I mean, but I’m not really sure.

“Your boyfriend’s a lucky guy,” Miller replies with a knowing grin as he saunters back to another couple at the bar.

Huh. Guess bartenders really do know everything.

By the time Octavia returns, I’ve drank two-thirds of the bottle. I pour her the rest as she gushes about Lincoln.

“And he’s from London!” she gasps between sips.

I chuckle at her obvious infatuation with him. “What are you doing back here, go and be with him!” I urge, as any good friend would.

“I don’t want to leave you alone, I’m the one who dragged you out!”

“Don’t worry about me, I think I’m going to head back anyway. I’m really starting to feel the wine,” I reply. “Will you be okay?”

“Yeah, I think I can trust him. Are you sure you have to go?”

“Yes, the alcohol is doing wonders,” I reassure with a laugh. “He seems like a really good guy, I’ve watched him with you all night. But you keep your cell phone on you at all times and let me know if you need me, okay?”

Octavia nods and pulls me into a hug. “Text me when you’re back?” she asks.

“Same to you,” I say seriously.

She nods again in assent and returns to Lincoln as I exit the bar.

I start to make my way back to the dorm, but the alcohol makes me sway. I must have had more to drink than I thought I could handle. I kick off my shoes and result to walking the rest of the way back barefooted. Half a block in and I almost turn back, the alcohol making me feel light headed.

No, just get home, Griffin. You can pass out when you get there.

I train my eyes on the ground and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. It works pretty well, I think.

“Clarke?”

I glance up to see Bellamy walking towards me at a quick pace.

“What are you doing out here alone?” he pushes.

“Was with-” Oh crap, he’s not going to like me leaving his baby sister, mildly tipsy and alone, at a bar with some random guy. “I was out with a friend and she stayed behind. I wanted to go home,” I fib, hoping he doesn’t see right through me. I feel a bit bad, but I technically didn’t lie. I was with a friend…

“And you’re walking home?”

“I’m drunk,” I announce, inhibitions aside.

“You could’ve called me to get you,” he sighs.

“You worry about me, don’t you?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, my mental filter is obviously gone.

Bellamy lets out a chuckle mixed with a sharp exhale. “Let’s just get you back in one piece. You look incredible, by the way.”

His compliment registers somewhere in the back of my mind, but I'm too concentrated on moving my feet again, this time proving to be harder. The alcohol is catching up fast. Bellamy notices.

“You got it, Princess?” he asks, brows furrowed.

“Fine, fine…” I trail off.

Bellamy realizes that I’m clearly not fine and wraps his arm under my shoulders, half carrying me forward.

I mean to make out a thank you, but moving my feet forward takes all my focus and energy.

“What are _you_ doing out here alone?” I manage to make out after my feet get the hang of the rhythm.

“I was on campus dropping something off for Dr. Wallace. Cutting through the Strip is a short cut,” he explains.

“Perfect timing,” I mumble quietly.

Although I’m a tad embarrassed by being so incoherent in front of Bellamy, I’m glad he’s my knight in shining armor saving the day. Once again.

After what seems like an eternity, we finally make it back to my dorm. My eye lids heavy with sleep, I groan loudly at the sight of the stairs in front of us.

Bellamy laughs at me, which my brain internally makes a snarky comment at, but my mouth can’t seem to move enough for the words to come out. Probably for the best.

“Welp,” Bellamy says and in one quick sweep he grabs me up into his arms and starts carrying me up the stairs.

“Bellamy, I can do it,” I urge, halfheartedly smacking him on the chest to put me down.

“You could barely walk here. What makes you think you can make it up the stairs on your own?”

He’s right, of course. I let him carry me up the numerous flights of stairs, foggily wondering if he thinks I’m heavy.

Finally at the top, Bellamy gently places me down in front of my hall but doesn’t let go of my waist to steady me for the rest of the walk. I can’t help but notice that he isn’t even winded.

We make our way, slowly, to my door and I fumble around for the keys in my purse. It must take a while, so Bellamy grabs the bag out of my hands gently and locates my room key immediately.

“Thanks.” I give him a warm look and he returns it with a slight chuckle.

I throw my purse and shoes towards the couch, not caring where they end up. The edges of my vision starting to turn dark, I feel sleep encroaching quickly. God, I’m such a lightweight.

“Well, I’m glad you’re back safe. I’ll leave you to it,” Bellamy says softly, turning from my doorway.

“Stay,” I breathe, climbing up to my bed fully clothed.

“Hm?” he asks innocently, glancing up at me as I collapse on top of my covers.

“I want you to stay,” I manage to make out slowly. I’ll probably regret this later, but I’m too drunk and sleepy to care right now. I just don’t want Bellamy to leave.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I start to lose patience now, fighting sleep. My tone is sharper than I had meant for it to be.

“Okay, okay,” Bellamy snickers under his breath. “Your couch is kind of small, Princess.”

I simply stick my arms out like a child to indicate that I want him to lie with me. Bellamy takes a deep breath as if contemplating what he wants to do. He finally gives in and climbs up my bed, kicking off his shoes on the way.

Bellamy scoots himself towards my pillow in a half seated position as I shift to make room for him on the tiny dorm bed. Once settled, I curl into him as he throws an arm around my shoulder to support my head. With my head against his chest, his intoxicating scent fills my mind and I start to drift.

“Thank you, Bellamy,” I whisper.

A soft hum from his chest is the last thing I register before I fall into a warm, deep sleep.

-

I bury my face into my pillow, half awake, the sunlight streaming in causing a headache immediately.

A shift next to me pulls me out of my groggy sleep as I suddenly remember Bellamy staying with me last night. My body stiffens but my eyes remain closed as I think about what I’m going to say. Oh crap, I probably look like hell too.

I risk a glance up at him with one eye; he’s still breathing deeply, fast asleep. I take the moment to look at him completely relaxed. His fitted, black t-shirt hugs his chest and rises and falls with each breath. He’s gorgeous even when he sleeps. My eyes make my way down his torso and I notice that his hand is placed lightly on top of mine. I can’t help the butterflies that swarm my stomach.

My pounding headache brings me back. I slowly draw my hand out from under his, quietly attempting to get out of bed.

I hear Bellamy take an audible deep breath as he shifts again next to me.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” I whisper, sitting up now.

Bellamy rubs his eyes sleepily but gazes at me with a small smile.

“Morning, beautiful.” He rasps, his voice full of sleep. Damn, he even sounds hot.

“I’m sorry for last night,” I say embarrassedly. I can only imagine what I must have looked like… “You didn’t have to stay.”

“But you asked me to.”

Oh, right. I did.

“Sorry,” I breathe again.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Clarke.” He gives me a reassuring rub on my knee.

I return his smile and pull away from him, suddenly remembering that I probably have mascara under my eyes and horrid morning breath. With surprising stealth for being stuck in this body hugging dress, I make my way down the ladder of my bed and grab an aspirin.

“You’re a bigger lightweight than Octavia,” Bellamy chuckles, watching me struggle with the childproof bottle before he offers to open it for me.

Octavia! I search my bag for my cell phone.

_Back at the dorm, he walked me home. He’s amazing!_

My heart settles a bit once I realize she is safe, just a few doors down.

Bellamy hands me back the bottle and I gulp down two of the pills.

“I really want to shower,” I say sheepishly. “Don’t leave though, I’m going to buy you breakfast or something to repay you for taking care of me again.”

“You don’t have to, but I won’t go.”

“I’ll be fast!” I grab a change of clothes and turn to the bathroom.

I assess the situation that is my hair and face in the mirror. It could be worse, I decide.

Once the warm water wakes me up and the aspirin starts kicking in, I let myself think about last night. The parts that I can remember at least. I can’t help the broad smile from growing on my face as I think about the fact that I just spent the night with Bellamy. And he was a total gentleman.

I quickly finish in the shower and brush my teeth. I towel dry my hair and come out to find Bellamy seated at my desk with a sheet of paper in his hand. I stop dead in my tracks.

“I hope you don’t mind me looking, but this was poking out of your sketchbook and it caught my attention…” Bellamy looks at me cautiously.

I glance down at the paper in his hand and recognize the sketch I did of Bellamy weeks ago. My cheeks flood with color as I gape at him, searching for something to say.

“I really like it,” he tells me with a soft look in his eye.

“You do?” I manage, my brain not coming up with any other words.

“Yeah,” he pauses as if assessing the situation. “I like _you_ , too, Clarke.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're finally getting somewhere! Officially the end of the slow burn. It may take me longer than the usual week to update :( I have a lot of stuff coming up, but I promise to post as soon as I can! Thanks for sticking with me <3


	10. His Sister's Keeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had time to write this week! Hope you like the Bellarke filled chapter :)

 

 

He likes me?

Bellamy searches my face for my expression.

I stand there, continuing to gape at him at a loss for words. He likes me. Likes me, likes me? I realize I probably look like I’m having an aneurism, I’ve been standing here quietly so long. But before I can respond, Bellamy cuts in again.

“I’m wondering if you feel the same way…” Bellamy gestures to my sketch looking cautious, but hopeful. It’s quite a change from his usual confidence.

“Yes,” I say but it comes out as a whisper. “I like you too.”

Relief floods his face. “Oh thank God, I was starting to run out of reasons of why we shouldn’t date,” he smirks, confidence returning.

“You like me?” I question again, my brain not wrapping around the concept.

“Yes, Clarke,” he chuckles. “I’ve liked you for a long time, but there were always reasons about why we shouldn’t be together. But fuck those reasons, I want to be with you.”

Ah, yes, the reasons. My brain suddenly reminds me why I started the stay-single vow in the first place. Because I mess up relationships and hurt people close to me.

“Bellamy, I want to be with you too. But I don’t want to hurt you. My life is dramatic and crazy, and I don’t want to bring you down with me. I can’t hurt someone like that again.”

Bellamy quickly stands from his chair and gets to me in one large stride.

“Clarke,” he says, lightly grasping my cheeks and staring into my eyes. “I don’t care. If you like me, and I like you, I don’t care about the other stuff. I don’t care about your past, I don’t care if you are afraid of hurting me. I’m willing to take that risk.”

“But-”

“No. You’re not ruining this for me,” he smirks.

I can’t help but melt at the sincerity in his eyes. Isn’t this what I wanted? I like Bellamy and I have for a long time, whether I admitted it to myself or not. But can I trust myself not to screw up again? I have to be better.

“Okay,” I nod slightly. “So… what now?”

“I thought you were buying me breakfast, Princess,” Bellamy smiles a huge a grin, happy to have his feelings reciprocated I imagine.

“Then I’m driving.”

“Fair enough,” he concedes, holding up his hands as if to surrender.

I grab my keys off the dresser, allowing myself to forget about ‘the reasons’ and feel happy. I think I’m dating Bellamy Blake. _Dating_ Bellamy Blake! I don’t even attempt to hide my smile.

-

“You know you’re allowed to drive at the speed limit, right?”

“Hey, I didn’t comment on _your_ driving!” I playfully smack him in the chest. I glance over at him and look at his torso jerking from his laughter and the crinkling of his eyes as he stares out the front of the windshield. The morning light illuminates his freckles and the dimple on his chin and the sight of him warms my insides.

“Wait,” he says as I stop my car in front of the little café. Bellamy opens his door hastily and runs around the car to my side.

“M’lady,” he teases, opening my door and offering his hand to help me out of the car.

“Wow, if this is all it takes to get some chivalry around here, I would’ve showed you that sketch ages ago,” I laugh.

“Did you draw it a long time ago?”

“Um, I can’t remember exactly when, but it was a while ago. Why?”

“Just wondering,” he mutters under his breath with a glint in his eye.

He wraps his arm around my waist loosely, and we walk the short distance to the café together. My eyes immediately search the menu board behind the counter. My stomach gives an audible growl as if I needed a reminder that I’m starving.

“Hey Octa-” Bellamy stops short and I tear my eyes away from the menu to see Octavia sitting at a table right in front of the door, having coffee with Lincoln.

“Bellamy! Hi!” Octavia suddenly looks nervous, as if caught red-handed doing something against the rules.

“Who’s this?” he asks with a serious tone.

“Bell, this is Lincoln, we met last night,” she says quietly.

“Hello. Bellamy is it? Hey Clarke.” Lincoln stands from his seat to shake Bellamy’s hand cordially while giving me a small smile.

Bellamy grunts at Lincoln in response but shakes his hand. “You met last night?”

“Yes, Clarke and Octavia were at the wine bar I frequent.” Lincoln says politely.

Oh shit. I didn’t tell Bellamy I was out with Octavia. Drinking. With his baby sister and her fake ID.

Bellamy seems to piece it together. He shoots me a sideways glance before returning his gaze back to his sister, brows slightly angry.

“I picked Clarke up alone and drunk last night. Where were you?”

Octavia opens her mouth to respond but I cut in before she can.

“Bellamy, I can explain last night. Why don’t we let them enjoy their coffee.” I loop my arm around his to subtly start pulling him away so this doesn’t turn into a scene.

Octavia registers my touch. “Wait, what are _you_ guys doing here? Together. Alone…” She raises an eyebrow with an almost undetectable lift of the corner of her lips.

“Later,” I interject and pull Bellamy to sit at a table on the other side of the room.

“Clarke,” Bellamy says, eyebrows knit together. He pinches the bridge of his nose as if he has a headache.

Octavia and Lincoln get up to leave quietly and she shoots me a wide eyed glance. I return her stare with a nod, letting her know I have it under control. Lincoln waves goodbye, nice as ever.

Finally, Bellamy opens his eyes to look at me, waiting for a response.

“Okay, I was out with Octavia last night. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry.”

He just stares at me waiting for me to continue.

“Monty sent her a fake. We shared a bottle of wine, but I drank most of it which is why I was so drunk. She met Lincoln and they hit it off. I didn’t want to third wheel, so I decided to go home. That’s when you found me.”

“You left my sister at a bar, alone and drunk, with a stranger? Clarke, he could have been a predator for all you know.” Bellamy runs a hand through his hair, pulling at it.

“She only had one glass of wine, two tops. Lincoln is a nice guy, you met him!” I look into his eyes with silent apology. I know I shouldn’t have left her there.

“He’s a much older guy, I don’t care how nice he looks.” He looks at me, exasperated and slightly hurt.

“I know. I’m sorry, Bellamy. She’s all you have, I shouldn’t have left her. But…” I trail off. “She is an adult now and can make her own decisions. You can’t keep her under your wing forever.”

I instantly regret that last part.

“You think I don’t know that?” His eyes suddenly ablaze with anger. “Yeah, she’s all I have. And you better believe that I will continue protecting her with everything I have. I can’t believe you left her alone and then lied to me about it.”

The waitress comes over, pouring us both a cup of coffee. Bellamy takes a deep breath, gathering his emotions back.

“I’m sorry…” I murmur quietly.

“Look,” he exhales. “I know I said I didn’t care about your past. And I don’t. But we can’t start off this relationship with any more lies. It just won’t work, Clarke.”

“You’re right, I know. I was just trying to let Octavia do her thing. But I should have known better. From now on, I promise, no more lies.” I reach across the table and squeeze his forearm. I don’t want to lose him when I just got him.

Bellamy looks at me, chewing on the inside of his lip, looking tired all of a sudden.

“I believe you,” he says after what feels like an eternity.

“Okay,” I breathe.

“Should we eat?” he asks suddenly, changing the subject.

“Yes, I’m starving.”

The rest of the breakfast resumes with considerable silence. Bellamy clearly hasn’t completely forgiven me for lying to him. And leaving his baby sister with an older stranger. Yesterday, I was closer to Octavia than I was to Bellamy. Now, my allegiance has to lie with Bellamy. It’s weird how quickly that changes.

“So,” I start, not able to take the silence any more. “Midterms are soon… Will you help me study for history?” I ask quietly, preparing myself for more upset attitude in response.

“Of course I’ll help you,” he laughs instead. “Can’t have my girlfriend failing my favorite subject.”

I smile into my plate at the word “girlfriend.”

Bellamy fights with me over the bill even though it was decided beforehand that I would pay. He is proud as always. I finally recover it from his grasp, granting me a sideways glance from Bellamy, but he smirks at me anyway.

We stand to leave and I slide my hand gently into his. He stiffens for a moment, before remembering that we’re together. It takes me a minute to get used to the feeling of his rough hand in mine, but when he laces his fingers with mine, warmth spreads through my body.

Bellamy catches my eye and gives me a sweet smile and a squeeze on my hand.

“Are you done being mad at me?” I ask. “I promise it won’t happen again.”

“I couldn’t stay mad at that face for long, even if I tried.”

-

“Alright, an easy one. Who was the leader of the USSR during World War II?”

“Ummm… Hitler?”

Bellamy shoots me an incredulous look. “Stalin.”

I knew that. And I probably would have been able to answer correctly if Bellamy wasn’t laying on the floor across from me in his fitted henley. His shirt rose up when he laid down, and the two inches of muscle showing underneath has been a constant distraction ever since.

“Where is your head today?” Bellamy chuckles.

“I don't know,” I mumble.

“After what event did the US declare war on Japan during World War II? And I know you know this one.”

“Uhhh…”

“Come on, Clarke! You made these notecards!”

“I know, and I know the answers, I just… Can’t think.” I contort my face to look pitiful, hoping he’d show a little sympathy.

Bellamy catches my eyes wandering down to the gloriously tanned skin peeking out from under his shirt. Dammit.

“Hey, my eyes are up here,” he laughs, tossing a pen in my direction.

My mouth pops open in surprise. “Did you just throw a pen at me?”

“Maybe,” he taunts, challenging me. “What are you going to do about it?”

I grab the closest thing to me, which happens to be a flimsy index card, and chuck it in his direction. Of course, it flies off to the side and floats down to the ground like a feather, anticlimactically. 

“Did you just throw a notecard at me?” He mocks with sarcastic horror.

“What are you going to do about it?” I raise an eyebrow in response. Two can play this game.

Before I can react, Bellamy lunges towards me, grabbing my waist. I let out a strangled scream mixed with a throaty laugh.

“Uh oh, you’re not ticklish are you, Princess?” He asks with a devilish grin.

I clasp a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing and Bellamy launches a full on attack on my waist and hips.

The attack lasts so long that I can’t breathe any more, my laughs coming out as screams when he hits my most ticklish spots.

Finally, Bellamy relents, settling his two arms on either side of my waist on the ground.

I gaze up at him as I catch my breath. His eyes have a softened expression that accompany the small grin on his face.

No way am I missing this opportunity again. I loop a hand around his neck and bring him down to meet my lips.

Bellamy pauses a moment, caught off guard, but it doesn’t take long for him to start moving his lips with mine. His kisses are softer than I expected them to be. He presses his body weight into me slightly as he lifts one hand to place on my cheek. I tilt my head and deepen the kiss, and Bellamy lets out a smile sigh. I automatically smile against his lips. Bellamy breaks away from our kiss to look back at me.

“This isn’t a very productive study session,” he says with a twinkle in his eye.

“Like you care,” I giggle.

“You’re right,” he shrugs and leans back in for another kiss. It’s slow and soft, and over too quickly. This time, I’m the one to sigh as he pulls away.

“Finally,” he chuckles under his breath.

“Finally what?” I ask.

“You finally kissed me,” he observes.

“ _I’m_ supposed to make the first move??”

Bellamy shrugs again, giving me a slight wink.

“Well if I’d known you wanted me to, it wouldn’t have taken this long.”

“Trust me, I wanted you to,” he confesses.

I laugh as I lazily drag my hands across his sculpted chest. “You’re such a distraction, Bellamy Blake.”

Bellamy rises to a sitting position across from me and gathers up the index cards that were spread in the heat of the moment. He looks at me seriously, waiting for me to join him.

Begrudgingly, I drag myself up, feeling the heat start to leave my face.

“What was the date of D-Day?”

I can’t help the groan that escapes my lips. Now I really can’t focus after that…

-

“Spill,” Octavia demands, sitting down across from me, notecards still scattered around my vicinity. It’s not been five minutes since Bellamy left, she must have been waiting.

“What’s there to spill? You spill!”

“The fact that you’re totally dating my brother now, right?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.” I can’t help but beam.

“FINALLY!” she yells in response.

“Have you been waiting?” I ask, confused.

“You guys have had something since I introduced you. Everyone knows, I just can’t believe it took you guys this long to figure it out.”

“Yeah, yeah, we got there eventually,” I chuckle. “Now _you_ spill.”

“Oh Clarke, Lincoln is amazing! I’ve never met someone so alike me.”

Octavia launches into her story, starting with the night at the bar. They stayed out almost all night and into the morning, and Lincoln walked her home to be sure she was safe. She tells me about how he texted her to meet up for breakfast as soon as he’d left her, not wanting to go long without seeing her again.

“Bell’s not pissed that I didn’t tell him, is he? I mean, we just met, there was hardly time…”

“No, he was more pissed at me for lying to him about leaving you at the bar. Though I don’t know how much he enjoys the fact that you have a guy in your life and he happens to be older,” I reply.

“He’ll get over it once he gets to know Lincoln. He’s seriously great, Clarke.”

“I’m happy for you,” I say genuinely, giving her a squeeze on the hand.

“I’m happy for you too! Just think, we could be sisters,” she says excitedly.

I bark out a laugh. “Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves quite yet.”

“Yeah, okay.” Octavia shoots me one of her knowing looks anyway. “So, there’s one more thing Bellamy may not like about me seeing Lincoln. He asked me to go home with him for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh,” I respond.

“Me and Bell have a tradition of spending the morning hiking before the football game, and then we eat dinner at a diner near our house. Mom always leaves us to go on some hippie retreat thing to see where the first settlers lived or something…”

“But this year you’ve decided to go to Lincoln’s?”

“I know we hardly know each other, but it’s not until after midterms so we have another week. I just think Bellamy is going to be pissed.” Octavia’s brow furrows in worry.

“I’ll invite him home with me,” I blurt out. I didn’t think that one through very well, but it’s the only solution I can think of. I don’t want Bellamy to be home all alone on Thanksgiving. And we’re dating now. It makes sense he comes home with me.

“Really? That would be a huge problem solver,” Octavia says relieved.

“No worries,” I smile back at her.

“Thank you!” Octavia wraps me into a quick hug before leaving me to finish studying.

As soon as Octavia leaves, I grab my phone.

_Spend Thanksgiving with me? -C_

It takes a while to get a response back.

_Would love to. O would too. -B  
_

I’m just going to wait for Octavia to break the news to him on that one…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I'll be out of town next weekend, but I will try to update as soon as I can. Leave me comments/kudos if you like what I'm doing! You guys are the best <3


	11. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! Your comments and kudos have motivated me to get this out quicker than I thought I could, so keep 'em coming! Hope you like :)

 

The porch lights are the first thing I see as I round the dark corner. I pull into the steep driveway in front of the three car garage and see Mom already coming out to greet me in her pajamas. Her hair is tucked in the loose braid I’m used to and her caring smile is across her face. I immediately feel at home.

“Hi sweetie,” she says, pulling me into a tight hug as soon as my car door is opened.

“Hey Mom,” I smile. “Sorry it’s so late, I had to make sure everyone on my hall was gone or had plans to go home.”

“You’re here now,” she replies happily, giving me a once over from head to toe. I grab my suitcase from the trunk and follow her into the house.

Everything is exactly the same; I don’t know why I thought it might be different. I’ve only been gone a couple months. Same open foyer, ornately decorated living room, and updated kitchen. Just how I remember it.

“It’s good to be home,” I sigh.

“I’ve missed you too. How did your midterms go?” Mom asks.

“I got A’s on all of them, I really studied hard. Bellamy helped a lot with history.” I can’t help but notice the way my voice rises when I say his name.

“Oh, tell me about Bellamy. You were so short on the phone,” she beams, handing me a cup of tea and folding herself on one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter.

“There’s not much to tell,” I start, cheeks warming at the thought of him.

“Where is he?”

“He’s coming late, he said he had something to do at school. He should be here soon though.” I glance up at the kitchen clock. 10PM. He said he’d be here around 10:30.

“Well he must be pretty great. I know you don’t settle for just anyone and you haven’t stopped smiling since I brought him up.”

It’s been just me and Mom for so long, she’s able to read me like a book. I shift uncomfortably on my own bar stool and sip at my tea to avoid eye contact for as long as I can. I don’t know why, but it makes me uncomfortable talking to her about him, probably because it’s still so new. Bellamy and I haven’t really gotten to know each other much as a couple yet. Midterms took over my life for a while, which is why I’m glad he’s coming for the break. I just hope he’s not too preoccupied with thinking about Octavia off with Lincoln.

“So, speaking of pretty great…” she murmurs. “Marcus Kane and I have been spending a lot of time together since you’ve been gone.”

“Oh,” I blurt out, taken off guard a bit.

“Is that okay with you?” she asks quietly. Now it’s her turn to look vaguely uncomfortable.

Images of Dad pop into my mind. My heart aches at the thought, but then I think about how much time has passed.

“Of course, Mom, you don’t have to ask my permission,” I chuckle. “It’s been years, I think Dad would have wanted you to move on at some point.”

“I think so too. I invited Marcus for Thanksgiving,” she says with an apologetic expression still covering her face.

“Should be fun,” I smile reassuringly.

“Well, I also invited Thelonius,” she pauses. “And Wells.”

“What?” I sputter, almost spitting out the sip of tea I just drank.

“I couldn’t invite Thelonius without inviting his son,” she responds with serious eyes. “What did you want me to do?”

“Not invite either of them!” So many thoughts are rushing through my head I can barely make a coherent sentence. The fact that Wells hasn’t talked to me since I cheated on him, the fact that I now have a boyfriend that will also be at Thanksgiving, and the fact that this will be the worst Thanksgiving ever. “Mom, he _hates_ me.”

“They come every year, Clarke. I couldn’t just tell them not to come because you and Wells had a fall out. Thelonius still wanted to come, so I told him he could. You and Wells are just going to have to be civil.”

I thought it would be a well-known fact that they shouldn’t come for Thanksgiving after we broke up. Guess not.

“Ughhhhhh,” I moan like a sullen teenager.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Clarke.” Mom shoots me her I’m-not-messing-around look that I know too well, so I decide to avoid the situation altogether.

“I’m going to shower,” I call over my shoulder as I trudge up the stairs with my suitcase.

I flop myself on my bed after throwing my suitcase down in the corner. Wells… and Bellamy… and my mom’s new boyfriend… Can’t freaking wait.

-

“Clarke, I think your boyfriend is here. Does he drive a motorcycle?”

Her voice reaches me as soon as I’m out of the shower, still towel drying my damp hair. Did I forget to mention he has a motorcycle? Whoops.

“Uhhh... Yup! Be right there!” I call down as I pull on some sleep shorts and a cami. At the last minute I decide to wrap a loose cardigan around me and trudge down the stairs, still preoccupied with my thoughts of impending doom on Thanksgiving.

“Mrs. Griffin,” I hear as I turn the corner. Bellamy is towering in the doorway, all broad shoulders and uncomfortable yet sweet smile. The shadows of his muscles are apparent in the light from the porch. Still can’t believe I was able to nab him...

Bellamy offers his hand to shake my mother’s stiffly; I can tell he’s nervous from the hallway. He notices me as soon as I step into the light, and his eyes brighten which makes me blush.

“Nice to meet you, Bellamy.” Mom takes his hand and invites him in just as stiffly. I hope this awkwardness subsides soon; I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it on top of all the Thanksgiving awkwardness.

“I’m sorry for being so late. I’ve been working closely with our history professor, and he had me doing some work pretty late.” Bellamy’s eyes shift to me as I walk up to them and an expression flashes over his face that I can’t place immediately. But when his eyes make their way down and back up my body, I know he’s checking me out.

“It’s fine, I just got here a little while ago too,” I say, throwing him a devilish look making sure he knows that I’m aware of exactly what he’s doing.

“Yes, it’s not a problem at all. We’re glad to have you here,” Mom states, completely unaware of our silent exchange. “Clarke, why don’t you show him around the house.”

“Sure thing,” I say as I slip my hand around the crook of Bellamy’s arm. Mom leaves us to it as she busies herself with something in the kitchen.

“Have a nice drive?” I ask when we’re alone.

“Would have been nicer with you.” Bellamy wraps me in an unexpected hug and I melt into the contact. It’s nice to finally have couple time with him without having to worry about anything else.

“Come on, I’ll show you around.”

“Your house is nice,” Bellamy says almost uneasily as he looks into our living room.

“Thanks,” I start. “We put a lot of work into it recently.” I glance up at him, knowing his uncomfortableness probably stems from the size of my house compared to his. He gets weird regarding things with money. I give him a reassuring smile and lead him through the rest of the house.

When we get to the kitchen, Mom interjects with more small talk. I fix Bellamy a cup of tea as he takes a seat where Mom and I were a few minutes ago.

“Oh, and you’ll have to share Clarke’s room.”

I’m shaken from my tired stupor and snapped back to reality at the words.

“What?” I try to say calmly but it comes out more alarmed than relaxed.

“You didn’t see the guest room being re-done when you went to take a shower?” Apparently not… “You’re both adults, I have no problem with it as long as he sleeps on the floor. We have that air mattress he can use,” Mom concludes, matter of fact.

I don’t know why I’m so shocked. We are both adults, and I guess it’s cool of her to trust us enough to be in the same room. But Bellamy and I have only spent one night together and I was completely out of it for the whole night.

Bellamy is watching my expression carefully, waiting on me to respond.

“That’s fine with me, if it’s okay with Bellamy.” I state softly.

“You’re welcome to sleep on the couch as well, but I thought you’d be more comfortable in Clarke’s room,” Mom cuts in again.

“The air mattress sounds great,” Bellamy chuckles and thanks her politely. I don’t know what’s so funny.

Bellamy and my mother have a light, casual conversation but I’m zoned out, thinking about what it will be like sleeping in the same room as Bellamy for a week. The all too familiar butterflies have swarmed in the bottom of my belly again. We’ve barely even kissed, now we’re sharing a room. Calm down, Griffin. He’ll just be on your floor. Get it together.

“Well, it’s late, I’m sure you want to get off to bed. We’ll talk more tomorrow,” Mom smiles to Bellamy. It seems as though the initial awkwardness has subsided a bit which is a small relief in the collection of things worrying me right now.

Bellamy brings his mug to the sink and I lead him up the stairs to my room, calling out our ‘good nights’ to Mom as we go our separate ways.

“So… this is it,” I start. Now it’s my turn to be apprehensive at Bellamy seeing my room.

He hangs back in the doorway as I take a seat at the edge of my bed. I follow his gaze and mentally cringe at my lavender walls and girly, white furnishings. It’s pretty obvious I haven’t redone my room since I was in grade school.

After what seems like an eternity of scrutiny, his eyes fall on my face. “You look beautiful.”

I feel my cheeks flush. Not the response I was anticipating, but I’ll take it.

“What do you think?” I ask, avoiding the compliment but returning his smile. I’m too curious to know what he’s thinking.

“You guys have a really nice house,” he says, walking into my room finally. Bellamy saunters over to the corner of the room where I used to hang my favorite sketches and paintings. Crap, I should’ve thought to take those down before he came. It’s obvious a 12 year old did them. “Did you do these?”

“When I was a kid,” I reply sheepishly.

“They’re really good. Maybe you should have been an art major,” he says warmly but pauses when he looks back at me. “Everything alright?”

I realize my face must be telling him how uncomfortable I am and try to change it quickly. I imagine I fail judging by his worried expression.

“Fine,” I squeak too quickly.

“You seem a little uptight,” he observes, mimicking my words from when I explored his apartment.

“It’s just… strange. I’ve never had a boyfriend in my childhood bedroom other than Wells.”

Bellamy takes a seat next to me on my girly bed and I can’t help but let out a tight laugh at seeing the juxtaposition of his manliness in such a feminine place.

“Your boyfriend, huh? That sounds good coming from your lips.”

Bellamy simultaneously tugs his lower lip between his teeth and stares at mine with hooded eyes. From zero to a hundred, just like that. His seductive expression triggers something in me and I forget about my discomfort. I tangle my hand in his hair at the back of his neck and lean in for a long awaited kiss.

“Clarke,” Bellamy breathes, glancing at my lips just inches from his. He puts a hand on my waist as if to hold me back.

“What?” I look into his eyes and see him struggling internally with something.

“I want to kiss you, I really do. Like, you have no idea how badly I want to,” he starts, his tongue gliding unconsciously between his lips. “But like you said, this is your childhood bedroom, and your mom is just around the corner… I don’t want it to be weird.”

I look at him in complete confusion.

“In respect for your mom, you know?” he tries to clarify.

“So you’re not going to kiss me the whole time you’re here… out of respect for my mother who isn’t even in the room?”

“I want her to like me,” he says with finality in his tone, telling me not to push it.

“Fine.” I try to sound sassy. If he doesn’t want to touch me all week, I’m going to make it a living hell.

I slip my cardigan off my shoulders seductively and stand, walking towards the door in just my tight tank top and short shorts. I purposely lean down slowly to grab his bag from the floor, accentuating the curve in my back as I straighten, making sure he’s watching me the whole time.

Bellamy raises an eyebrow as I glide back over to him. “Stay right there,” I whisper in as sexy a voice as I can muster. Bellamy clears his throat as I walk out, clearly hot and bothered judging by his expression.

I’m only going to get the air mattress which isn’t a sexy act or anything, but feeling like I have the power is satisfying. Who knew I could be a successful tease?

I return after a few minutes to find Bellamy in the same spot on the edge of my bed, only now he looks a bit tense. I start to make his makeshift bed on the floor, barely looking in Bellamy’s direction.

“Can you put on a shirt or something?” Bellamy huffs and shifts himself slightly.

“I’m wearing a shirt,” I retort.

“I mean a bigger shirt. Or a looser shirt. Or some longer shorts…” he trails off, eyes all over my body.

“Oh is this bothering you?” I taunt, reveling in my power of seduction that is apparently working wonders.

“It’s just distracting,” he mutters under his breath, sounding rougher than anything I’ve heard from him.

I smirk with a chuckle but don’t grant his wish. I’m having too much fun torturing him. I finish making his bed and move to get into my own.

Bellamy glances at me with a wicked grin. What is he thinking..? As soon as he stands from the edge of my bed, Bellamy is sliding his shirt off revealing his toned abs and gorgeously tanned skin.

A slight gasp escapes me against my will. This makes Bellamy stifle I smile. That smug bastard.

Bellamy begins to struggle with his belt to take off his pants. A tightness grabs my stomach muscles and my heart rate picks up even more.

“Goodnight!” I rasp as I turn to shut off the lamp next to the bed and avert my eyes from Bellamy’s perfect body, nearly naked just a few feet away.

He chuckles lowly at me in response.

“You know, you not touching me all week is going to be to your detriment,” I say sternly, eyes directed at the dark ceiling.

“I know, princess.” He sighs. “Trust me, I know.”

-

I bolt upright in my bed, the vision of my dad being thrown from the car still fresh in my mind. The sweat drips down my back and forehead as I try to shake tonight’s nightmare. My throat is tight so I move to get out of bed silently. Bellamy is breathing deeply, his brow relaxed and his lips soft. I lithely step over him and make my way down the stairs for my usual ritual.

The water gliding down my throat relaxes me slightly, but I splash my face with cold water from the kitchen sink. Being at home seems to remind me of him more, it brings on more nightmares.

I scurry back upstairs quietly and find Bellamy cross legged on my untidy bed.

“Bad dream?” he asks as if he already knows the answer.

I nod silently in response.

“You want to talk about it?” he asks.

I give him a slight shake of the head and wrap my arms around myself, suddenly chilled by the cool air.

Bellamy scoots back on the bed and rests against my headboard while putting his arm out in the air next to him. I realize he’s gesturing for me to sit with him, so I climb back in my bed and fold myself under his warm embrace. He doesn’t say anything as I curl into his warmth. He seems to understand that I’d rather not relive the dream, so he just strokes my shoulder in silence.

I’m not sure how long we sit there without words, but after a while I notice the goosebumps that have risen on Bellamy’s skin.

“You’re cold,” I state, obviously. “Get in.” I open the sheets for him to slide his legs in.

“You sure?” he questions.

“Unless you’re afraid of disrespecting my not-present mother,” I snark, glad to be distracted from my nightmarish thoughts.

Bellamy takes the hint this time and awkwardly folds his long limbs into my bed with me.

“Thanks,” I whisper while my head finds its favorite nook in the dip of Bellamy’s shoulder and chest.

Bellamy kisses my forehead sweetly in response, and I drift back into a comfortable, dreamless slumber.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! And if there's something you want me to work in somewhere, let me know! I'd love to hear your ideas and I'll do my best to work them in if I think they could fit. As always, thanks for sticking with me <3


	12. Day Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me an extra week to finish this chapter! Writer's block combined with too much homework makes for a slow writing process. This chapter is basically just fluff, but I felt like these two needed it. :)

 

I wake slowly to the sound of Bellamy’s deep breaths right next to my ear. The heat sends shivers down my spine. I turn towards him and bury my face in his chest to hide from the sun streaming in through the window.

“Mmm, good morning,” he groans roughly as he pulls me closer to him.

“Good morning,” I whisper back, not wanting to get up yet. I struggle to open my eyes; his warmth seems to draw them down automatically.

“What time is it?” he asks.

I shrug into his chest which makes him chuckle. “You’re cute when you wake up, you know that?”

“I’m cute always.” I murmur innocently which makes his body shake with quiet laughter against mine.

“Yes, you are,” he obliges and kisses me again on the forehead. I tilt my chin up towards him to give him access to my lips, but he gives me a disapproving glance and kisses my cheek instead.

“Hmph,” I make out quietly.

“Come on, we should get up. Your mom is probably up already.”

“What is it with you and my mom?”

I’m left cold and alone in my bed when Bellamy gets up to put his clothes on.

“I’m trying to make a good impression. It’s… important to me.”

His response makes me grin into my pillow, knowing that it’s important because he cares about me.

“Now come on, before I sling you over my shoulder myself,” he threatens.

I open one eye to peek at him. “You wouldn’t.”

“You wanna bet?”

-

After getting thrown over a muscular shoulder and forced into the bathroom to get ready, Bellamy and I make our way downstairs to find my mother already making breakfast.

“Hey you two,” she smiles, eyeing us as we sit at the table. “I was called into the hospital for an emergency patient, so you guys are on your own today.”

“Okie doke,” I reply, voice still full of sleep.

“You can take Bellamy to the beach,” Mom responds. “It’s supposed to be warmer today, though it may rain a little later.”

“Sounds fun,” Bellamy smiles, trying too hard to get on my mother’s good side.

My mom returns his smile and tries to strike up another conversation.

“So Bellamy, Clarke tells me you have a sister.”

The ghost of the smile he had moments ago is washed away by a sullen expression.

“Yes. She’s spending Thanksgiving with her new friend.” His reply is terse and I notice him biting the inside of his cheek. I place a hand gently on his knee and his face softens slightly.

Choosing to ignore the fact that he called Lincoln a “new friend” for now, I instead change the subject to something more palatable for Bellamy.

“Mom, Bellamy’s favorite book is War and Peace by Tolstoy.”

They launch into an easier conversation about how Dad made her read the book years ago and she loved it even though it wasn’t her style. Bellamy’s eyes light up when he talks about things he loves and I can’t help but wish that they’ll do that for me one day.

Eventually, Mom rushes out the door, scrubs and pager in hand while we’re left to finish our breakfast.

“So you really want to go to the beach?” I mumble, mouth partially full of banana chocolate chip pancakes.

“Why not?” he smiles.

“Because it’s November,” I chuckle and pull out my phone to check the weather. “The high is 65.”

“Sounds like a beautiful day to me.”

He’s acting oddly cheery about doing what my mom suggested. He must be really trying to follow through on the good impression. It’s kinda cute.

I quickly make my way back up to my room as Bellamy does the dishes from breakfast. Rummaging through my old bathing suit drawer, I find exactly what I had in mind: my skimpy black bikini that will totally make Bellamy regret not touching me this week. I giggle under my breath maniacally.

…Whoa, bring it back a bit, Griffin. It’s just a bikini.

I slip it on quickly and pull on my jean shorts, tank top, and light jacket before Bellamy enters my room holding two beach towels.

“Ready to go, princess?”

“Yep!” I exclaim happily. No kissing aside, I’m really looking forward to spending time with him.

He hands me his extra helmet as we follow the now familiar motions of climbing on his bike and I breathe in his scent when my arms snake around his middle. It reminds me of being wrapped up in him last night so I place a light peck against his shoulder blade. Apparently it’s the only action I’m going to see today.

We speed off into the crisp, late morning sun, chills forming on my bare legs immediately. I point Bellamy in the right direction through the city as he weaves through cars effortlessly. It feels reckless but I’ve never felt safer holding on to someone so strong. I trust him completely.

After the two hour drive (made into an hour and a half by Bellamy’s speed), Bellamy lends me a hand to help me off the bike and into the sand. The beach is relatively empty due to it being late autumn. Aside from the cool breeze though, the clear skies allow the sun to warm me to the core.

I pull my sunglasses out from my beach bag and skip to my favorite spot on the shore. It’s the same spot Dad and I used to come to when Mom would get called into work on a beautiful day. Bellamy follows me, chuckling along the way.

“Awfully chipper this morning,” he observes with a glint in his eye.

“I can be fun,” I almost pout, opening the large beach blanket I packed for us to share.

Bellamy makes a sound in the back of his throat which sounds an awful lot like a scoff.

“You think I’m fun, right?”

“Well that depends on your definition of fun, Princess,” he laughs.

I shoot him a dirty look but decide to get back at him in a different way. A way that has been working quite well for me so far…

I feel his eyes on me as I unzip my jacket slowly and pull off my shorts. I tie my hair into a messy bun and hand him the bottle of sunscreen.

“Mind putting this on me?” I ask innocently.

Bellamy clears his throat. “Sure thing.”

His hands glide over my back and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t affected. But if my plan was going how I wanted it to, it would be affecting Bellamy more.

“Don’t forget my lower back.”

“Right…” he mumbles. He moves slowly when he reaches the curve of my hips and I shoot him a mischievous grin over my shoulder. He catches my eye and clears his throat again.

“There ya go,” he says tightly. I can’t help but giggle.

My amusement is cut short when he rises to his feet to strip off his t-shirt. It’s like the world slows down for a moment while I watch every ab muscle being revealed inch by inch. His bulging chest muscles make me want to run my tongue over them and up to his neck.

Did I just say I wanted to run my tongue over his chest muscles?

Yes, yes I did. God, he’s gorgeous.

“What?” he asks, shaking me out of my reverie.

“Nothing,” I reply too quickly, my voice an octave higher than I meant for it to be. “Um, do you want some sunscreen too?” I try to recover and fail.

“No thanks, I don’t burn. I just freckle,” he grins and gives me a sheepish shrug.

I feel myself grinning back at him too long and the silence starts to turn stale. Settling down on my towel, I feel Bellamy lie down so close to me that our shoulders touch.

He takes an audible deep breath and I follow suit, breathing in the sun, the beach, and my boyfriend next to me. I can almost feel each individual muscle in body relaxing after weeks of so much tension. Contrary to my tranquility, I can see a tightly wound Bellamy in my peripheries.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask after several long minutes of silence.

“I’m trying not to think, actually,” he breathes.

“About Octavia?” I carefully test the waters on the subject.

Bellamy’s eyes open and he tilts his head in my direction, gauging my expression and deciding whether or not to open that can of worms.

He gives a tight nod in response.

“You want to talk about it?”

Bellamy squeezes the bridge of his nose, a gesture I’ve come to realize is his go-to stressed position. “I just worry about her, you know?”

I reach my hand out slowly, looking for his. My fingers find what they’re looking for and I intertwine my hand in his. Bellamy rubs the back of my hand softly with his thumb.

“She’s a strong person, Bellamy. Trust that you’ve taught her well and that she can make the right decisions on her own.” I give him a reassuring squeeze and his eyes soften the slightest bit.

“I just don’t like not knowing this Lincoln guy. He’s so much older; what does he want with my baby sister?”

“Octavia isn’t a baby anymore,” I giggle quietly, thinking about the times we’ve had together. “When we get back, why don’t we arrange a double date or something? So you can get to know him better.”

“A double date?” he asks in an unwilling tone, face scrunching up in dislike.

“Come on, would it really be that bad?” I bat my eye lashes for added effect.

“You know I can’t say no to you,” he chuckles. “Fine. But still, no guarantee I’ll like the guy.”

“As long as you promise to give him a chance,” I smile.

It’s Bellamy’s turn to squeeze my hand back. Then the absence of his hand in mine allows the wind to blow through my fingers as he places his hand on my thigh instead. Bellamy absentmindedly rubs soft circles into my leg and I can’t help but shiver. Something tells me it’s not from the cool breeze.

“So,” I interject, changing the subject. “I was thinking. You call me Princess, but I have nothing to call you other than Bellamy.”

“What’s wrong with Bellamy?” he asks, raised eyebrows.

“Nothing is wrong with Bellamy, I just think I need a term of endearment for you too. What do you think?” I pause. “Babe?”

“Babe? So generic,” he scoffs, but his eyes twinkle with my favorite look of his.

“You’d prefer an obscure one? How about duckling then?” I tease.

This elicits a hearty laugh from Bellamy and he rolls over onto his side to look at me.

“Make it something manly. Like, your brave knight in shining armor or something.”

I try my best to hold in my laughter but I fail miserably.

“Because that isn’t a mouthful or anything,” I exclaim, laughter shaking my body. “What about honey?”

This elicits a nose scrunch and eye roll.

“Why don’t I just feel it in the moment? Unrehearsed.”

“Deal, Princess,” he smiles, laughter subsiding.

We lay in comfortable quietness almost the whole afternoon, with some light small talk littered in every now and then. But I enjoy the comfortableness between us, not needing to fill every quiet moment with useless conversation. Bellamy glances over at me every few minutes and grins when I meet his gaze. Our hands lazily explore each other’s when our fingers aren’t locked together. Bellamy seems to like running his fingers gently down my own which makes my entire arm tingle with warmth.

“I’m going to go search for shells,” I announce, tired of laying down all day. “Don’t miss me too much.” I shoot him a cute smile over my shoulder and skip towards the water.

“I miss you already,” Bellamy calls sweetly.

I’m not gone two minutes when I turn back and see two rather attractive females in bikinis hovering over my boyfriend, flipping their hair like bimbos. Okay, maybe I don’t know if they’re bimbos or not, but from here they look like they are flirting with my boyfriend. Which makes them bimbos.

I walk, possibly jog, back to our spot on the beach to find an uptight looking Bellamy.

“So, do you like work out to get muscles like those?”

Oh yeah. Definitely bimbos.

“Hi,” I half-yell my arrival, standing closer than usual to Bellamy and staring down both girls like they are my prey.

They look at me, dumbfounded, like I’ve just interrupted _their_ conversation.

“What are we talking about?” I ask, placing my hand on Bellamy’s upper arm.

“ _We_ were talking about Bellamy’s workout regimen,” one of the girls sneers cockily, eyeing me like we’re in high school. Well, they may still be in high school. That would explain it.

Bellamy gives me a helpless look and a slight shrug, not knowing what to do.

I slide my hand through his, clearly signifying that he is mine. And only mine.

“You know, we’d love to stay and chat about his workout regimen, but we were actually just about to go _workout_.” I would cringe at my own innuendo if the looks on the bimbo’s faces weren’t as priceless.

This causes them to roll their eyes and trudge away after I hear a whispered “bitch.” I can’t help but feel self-satisfied anyway.

“What was that?” Bellamy stares at me, almost incredulous.

“What?”

His eyes are still wide, but a smirk creeps over his face.

“Was Clarke Griffin just jealous?” he teases.

“I was just making it clear that you weren’t on the market.”

“You were jealous,” he states smugly. “It was kind of hot.”

I look back into his eyes and notice the heat behind them. His expression is intense, eyes half hooded. Is he seriously turned on by my possessiveness? To be fair, I wouldn’t call it possessive. Territorial, maybe.

Before I can reply, a raindrop hits me square on the forehead. In all the fuss, I didn’t realize the clouds had rolled in. That one lone drop apparently released the floodgates, as a moment later, it’s like the whole sky is falling down.

We hurriedly grab up our towels and bag and I pull on my jacket haphazardly. I realize it won’t make a difference though; I will be soaked anyway by the time we make it home on Bellamy’s motorcycle.

We sprint to the bike, laughing the whole way about the absurdness of the last event and the torrential down pour beating on us.

Bellamy speeds away, trying to find some kind of shelter for us to wait out the rain. But by the time we find the nearest restaurant, the rain has lightened up considerably. He decides to cruise us home, despite us being soaked to the core.

Three months ago, I would have hated that the rain spoiled our date and I would probably complain about having to ride in the rain on a motorcycle. But today, wrapped up tightly against Bellamy, I don’t have a care in the world. There is no place else I’d rather be, and no one else I’d rather be with. How could I care about the cold rain splattering my bare legs when I have someone who is keeping them warm?

By the time we near the house, the rain has picked back up again. Bellamy speeds through the town, hurrying to get us indoors. The rain pelts against my body but the slight pain feels oddly good.

When he parks the bike on the driveway, I hop off before him to sprint into the house.

“Clarke,” Bellamy calls out over the down pour.

I turn to find him walking with a purpose in my direction. When he’s close enough, I see that his eyes are darker than they’ve ever been. His pupils are blown wide and his jaw is clenched fiercely.

I don’t have time to process anything before his lips crash down on mine and I’m wrapped in the tightest embrace. Bellamy’s lips are urgent as his arms wrap around my waist, almost lifting me from the ground. I return his kiss with equal fervor, having waited for what seems like forever for this.

I bring my arms up to wrap behind his neck and pull at the dripping wet hair at the back of his head. Bellamy almost growls when I tug at it, and bites on my lower lip, sending a tingling sensation deep in my belly.

I pull back slightly to catch my breath, and he takes it as his chance to trail wet kisses down my jaw and to my neck. The continuous rainfall adds to the sensations and the goosebumps spread across my entire body. When Bellamy’s tongue drifts across my collar bone, a wave of electricity streaks down my spine and I can’t help the soft moan that escapes my lips.

Bellamy chuckles into my neck and pulls back to look at me, our bodies still melded together.

“I think I should be jealous more often,” I say between ragged breaths.

Something flashes in Bellamy’s eyes when he responds with his signature smirk.

“I could get used to it,” he growls, threading his hands into my wet hair and pressing another open mouthed kiss to my waiting lips, robbing me of my breath. Who needs air when you’ve got Bellamy Blake?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! It may take me two weeks to get the next chapter out again, but I will try my best! Leave me some love if you like what I'm doing! <3


	13. Repercussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter killed me! I had no idea where I wanted it to go which is why it took me so long to get it out. But hopefully you guys like what it ended up being! Let me know :)

 

_Ding dong._

“Clarke, will you get the door?”

So here we are. Thanksgiving. The day I’ve been dreading ever since I heard Wells would be coming over. The Wells who hasn’t spoken to me since that day on the phone when I told him I’d cheated on him. Well, I didn’t just cheat. I gave my virginity to someone else after I had been making him wait. The Wells who wouldn’t answer my 46 phone calls and 22 text messages. Yes, I counted. The Wells who was my very best friend for as long as I remember, whose heart I ripped out with just one phone call.

And now here we are, Wells probably still hating my guts, and my new boyfriend (who’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on) is here for our first holiday as a couple. If “hey honey, this is my ex-boyfriend/best friend that I cheated on with Finn, and now I’m subjecting you to the shit-show that will probably ensue” doesn’t say “happy holidays,” then I don’t know what does.

Bring it on.

“If I must,” I yell back begrudgingly to my mother in the kitchen. The sound of the doorbell ringing immediately made my heart drop and made me feel like I’m going to throw up my own stomach. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Bellamy gives me a reassuring yet sympathetic smile and a chaste peck on the cheek before I leave him alone on the couch in the living room.

My feet feel like lead while I trudge up to the front door. I swallow back the nausea, bite the bullet, and turn the doorknob.

“Hello,” a chipper voice greets me.

“Oh, hi.” I try to keep the surprise out of my voice when I see Marcus Kane instead of the Jaha’s. Relief floods my system though, so the smile I return to him is genuine. “Come on in, Mom is in the kitchen.”

“I brought you something,” he says confidently, handing me a bouquet of flowers. It’s obvious he’s trying to suck up to me. I hate to admit it but it’s kind of working.

I take them from him with a small smile and point him in the direction of the kitchen before I go and gather Bellamy to introduce him to Kane.

When we enter the kitchen, Marcus has his arm around my mother’s waist and they’re already cracking up at something. They look like a couple of teenagers which leaves me with conflicting feelings. Happy, because Mom hasn’t looked this carefree in years, but also a twinge a guilt for feeling happy about seeing my mom with a man that isn’t my dad.

Bellamy notices that I’ve stopped in my tracks and slides his own arm around my waist, mirroring the new couple. (Are they a couple?) He catches my eye and places a gentle kiss on my forehead, as if he knows exactly what I needed.

Since Marcus and my mom are still oblivious to our presence, I clear my throat a bit too loudly and chuckle when it seems to catch them off guard.

“Mr. Kane, my name is Bellamy Blake,” he states before I can say anything.

“Call me Marcus,” he smiles, shaking his hand firmly.

Mom assesses my expression and I’m sure to keep my face as pleasant as I can. It’s not that I’m not happy she’s moved on, it just feels weird. And there’s also the fact that Wells will be here any minute looming in the back of my mind.

The three of us sit at the table while Mom continues cooking, small talk filling in the quiet spaces. My mind wanders from the conversation because my stomach is still wound in knots. Bellamy holds my hand in his lap, circling comforting touches in my palm. It’s a small gesture, but it’s the exact kind of comfort I need. I catch Mom looking over at us and she smiles to herself inwardly. I wonder what she’s thinking.

When the doorbell rings again, I visibly jump in my seat. Everyone in the kitchen notices, so Mom announces that she’ll get the door.

Bellamy gives my sweaty hand a firm squeeze and I brace myself for whatever may happen.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” I hear from the door. It’s the voice of Wells dad, Thelonius Jaha. I can hear another low voice speak, and I recognize that it belongs to Wells.

After what feels like an eternity of holding my breath, Wells and his dad finally come in to greet us in the kitchen. Followed by a rather attractive blond…?

“It’s been a long time, Clarke,” Thelonius says to me with a smile in his voice, but my eyes are darting between Wells and the strange girl. It takes me a beat to catch on, but I finally pull myself back to reality long enough to respond.

“Yes, it feels like it’s been forever,” I say, forcing a smile. Bellamy stands up in his chair and offers his hand to Thelonius, then Wells.

“I’m Bellamy, Clarke’s boyfriend. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Wells narrows his eyes at Bellamy almost indecipherably so, but I catch it before he covers it. He takes his hand and mutters a fairly pleasant “nice to meet you.”

“This is Harper, my girlfriend.” My jaw unhinges before I pick it back off the ground and accidentally let out a cough that might actually sound more like a choking sound. I don’t know why I’m surprised. I just didn’t think he’d bring her over for Thanksgiving…

“Hey there, Clarke.” Wells gives me a tight lipped smile and I’m completely taken aback. I honestly thought he wouldn’t utter a word to me all night.

“H-hi,” I stammer. Nothing else manages to make its way out of my mouth while I stand there like an idiot, mouth still agape.

After a beat of silence, Marcus stands up and offers to help Mom with the rest of the cooking, and everyone else seems to take the hint and launch into forced conversation.

I take my seat next to Bellamy and he leans over with a hand on my waist. “Okay?” He whispers into my ear so no one else can hear.

“Okay,” I breathe and he kisses me on the cheek. I’m so glad he’s touching me again; his little brushes and assuring squeezes are helping more than he knows. Come to think of it, he’s been abnormally touchy after our post-beach make out sesh. I’m not complaining…

We all join in with helping set the table. Wells and I move around each other like there was never a blowup between us. Our bodies still remember the comfortable motions of being around one another, even if our brains don’t. I catch his eye while he’s setting down the plates and I’m lining up the silverware after him. He meets my gaze and gives me a sad sort of half-smile. I don’t know if it means that he’s over what happened or he’s just being civil because we’re forced to be in this situation together. His eyes are still hard though, leading me to believe that I’m not out of the woods yet.

“I’m so thankful you all are here today. Here’s to keeping old traditions with new friends.” Mom gives the toast after we tuck in to our feast. We clink glasses and everyone digs in happily.

Everyone but me, of course. I’m still mulling over every micro movement Wells has made since he’s been here, pulling apart every syllable he’s said and every glance he’s given me.

Mom shoots me pointed look, so I take a few bites of food and stir around the rest.

Marcus and Bellamy talk about his history major, I ask Harper what she’s studying in school, and Thelonius asks about my artwork. The evening goes rather smoothly, much better than I expected. Marcus genuinely seems good for my mother and it’s so nice to see. Wells and Harper seem to know each other well, regardless of them having met fairly recently. After we were together, at least. Bellamy never takes his hand off of my knee and glances at me every few minutes.

But you know what they say, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

“So Wells, what have you been up to these past few months?” Mom asks him when we start on dessert.

“You mean after Clarke cheated on me?” he asks out of the blue without missing a beat.

Uh oh.

I almost spit out the bite I had in my mouth at his bluntness. Did he really just say that? Bellamy’s eyebrows are so high in shock that they look like they may jump right off of his face. He’s obviously thinking what I’m thinking. The rest of the company stops eating to gape at either Wells or me.

Wells doesn’t wait for her to respond to his rhetorical question.

“Well, since that incident, I’ve been doing very well in school. And I found myself a beautiful girlfriend and she’s wonderful as well. So I’m really much better off, thanks.”

I can’t help but notice that his entire monologue is directed at me. His cold eyes bear into me with every word instead of responding to Mom’s question. “What about you, Clarke?” It’s clear now that his earlier friendliness was very obviously a façade.

My tongue is in a knot and I feel like I may swallow it.

“Um… I’ve been doing well too…” I stutter. “I switched majors and made some really great new friends…”

“Like Bellamy?” he blurts out, venom seething in his voice. Everyone has stopped eating (maybe breathing), eyes wide at the scene playing out before them.

I’m not really sure how to answer… “Erm, yeah… Bellamy is great…”

“Is he the one you cheated on me with? Even after we’d talked about waiting and being together forever? After we had been best friends for our entire lives?”

“That’s enough, son,” Thelonius starts.

“No-no-no,” he fumes, standing up at his seat. “I want to know if this is the guy she ruined my life for,” he almost shouts.

No sounds are coming out of my open mouth, so I shake my head hastily, trying to get him to calm down. Harper’s hand is pulling Wells’ wrist to have him sit back down, but it isn’t working. In the back of my mind, I somewhat register appreciating her effort.

“No?? So he’s the _second_ guy, huh? Wow, you move on so quickly that it’s hard to keep up!”

Wells is visibly furious, voice way louder than what is comfortable for this room and there’s a vein starting to pop out on his forehead.

“Alright, _that’s enough_.” Bellamy spits, equally as loud and standing up to his level. “Wells, can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

Wells narrows his eyes but begrudgingly turns to leave the room.

“Bell, you don’t have to –” I start.

He cuts me off with a quick shoulder squeeze as he follows Wells out into the hall.

“I’m so sorry,” Thelonius says apologetically once they’re gone. Harper also gives me a sympathetic look.

“Are you okay, Clarke?” Marcus asks.

I’m too stunned to respond but I manage to nod my head slightly. My cheeks are hot with anger, confusion, and embarrassment, and I register my hands shaking slightly. I deserve his reaction, I just thought it would have come out when we were in private.

Only a few seconds pass but it feels like it’s been ages since Bellamy left the room and the suspense of what’s happening out there slowly starts to kill me. I push out of my chair without a word and follow the direction they left.

“ – don’t know you very well, but that wasn’t a cool reaction. I’m not going to let you talk to my girlfriend like that,” I hear Bellamy say roughly through the door to the living room. I don’t dare breathe so they won’t catch me listening in.

“Well your _girlfriend_ is a slut,” Wells says in response.

It feels like someone just punched me in the stomach. All breath leaves me as I picture my best friend behind the door, fuming and hating me so much for what I did to him.

“Excuse me? Do you want to rethink that statement?” Bellamy retorts threateningly. I can hear him fighting to keep his voice calm.

After a short pause and a deep breath, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I know she’s your girlfriend now. I just – ” Another deep breath. “She broke my heart. I really loved her. She’s my best friend. Harper isn’t even my girlfriend, I just brought her to lie to Clarke about it and make it seem like I had moved on but I haven’t. How do you get over something like that?”

It sounds like Wells is more-so talking to himself rather than Bellamy now.

“She’s a pretty amazing girl, isn’t she?” Bellamy replies calmly. I picture him sitting next to Wells, comforting him like a big brother. “But for both your sakes, you’ve gotta let it go. Clarke messed up in the past, but it was months ago. I know she feels like shit for doing that to you, we’ve talked about it. And she wishes it had never happened and that you guys could go back to how things were. Obviously things can’t be exactly like they were, but you’ve gotta work on forgiving her. She still cares about you too, Wells. I know she’d take it back if she could.”

My heart warms and my breath returns knowing that Bellamy is saying everything I would have. I’ve never appreciated him more than I do in this moment.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Wells breathes. “I’m gonna work on it. And you’re going to take care of her, right?”

“I care for that girl more than I’ve ever cared for anyone outside of my own family. It honestly kind of scares me how much I feel for her already. I promise to take care of her as well as you did.” I can hear the smile in his voice and feel my own spreading from ear to ear. If anyone ever asked, I’d deny that tear starting to form in the corner of my eye.

“You better or I’ll kick your ass,” Wells chuckles and Bellamy follows suit.

I hear them stand and start walking towards the door I’m pressing my ear to, so I quickly wipe my slightly wet eyes and back up a few steps to make it look like I just got there. Though I’m probably not fooling anyone.

Wells opens the door and looks surprised to see me there, but Bellamy doesn’t.

“Hey, Clarke.” he states, looking resigned. “I’m sorry about blowing up at you; that was uncalled for. I’d like to start again if that’s okay.”

“I’d like that,” I whisper for some reason.

Wells puts out his hand. “I’m Wells,” he says. Such a cliché.

“Clarke,” I smile anyway. He shakes my hand with a small laugh, a new understanding between us. Then he leaves Bellamy and I alone and returns to a very awkward dessert.

“Safe to assume you heard everything?” Bellamy asks.

I nod before I launch into an embrace that catches him off guard. I pull back enough to plant a firm kiss on his lips, trying to convey all my feelings towards him. A “thank you” and a “ditto” was what I was hoping for. Bellamy seems to understand exactly and I can feel him smiling under my lips.

“Thank you,” I breathe when we finally pull apart.

“Anything for you, Princess.” He smiles before placing a gentle and sweet kiss on the top of my head.

I lace my fingers into his and we slowly make our way back to the dining room, hand in hand.

_I think I love him._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for sticking with me! I think it's starting to come to a close, probably only two or three chapters left. I love when you leave me comments/kudos <3


	14. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO sorry this took me an extra week to get up! I couldn't decide how I wanted this chapter to go, and I'm still a bit iffy about it. Hopefully you guys like it alright! 
> 
> This chapter is basically all just sex, but it isn't super explicit. Also, it's written in BELLAMY'S POV that takes place right after the events in chapter 13.
> 
> Let me know what you think!

_***Bellamy's POV***_

 

_Journal Entry #76_

_November 28_

_So – I told her I loved her. Possibly in the least romantic, most awkward way possible, but at least now she knows. We had a great week in her home town and my feelings for her grew and grew until it spilled out as word vomit, rather unsuspectedly after Thanksgiving. I was completely beat after the drama that ensued at dinner, and I was so ready to sleep for ten hours._

_But, Clarke had other plans…_

 ---

“Anything for you, Princess,” I tell her before pressing a kiss into her blond hair.

She’s looking at me like I put the stars in the sky at night and her soft hand finds its way into mine. I can tell she’s grateful for the conversation I just had with Wells, and I’d do it all over again if it meant making her happy. I wasn’t lying when I told Wells how scared I was of how much I feel for her already.

I let her lead me back into the kitchen for Thanksgiving dessert even though I’d rather just spend the rest of the night with her. But let’s be real, I’d go to hell and back for her if she was by my side.

-

I pull off my shirt and throw on my pajama pants, ready to climb into my makeshift bed on the floor for our last night in Clarke’s home. Thanksgiving was nicer than expected, despite the tension and all hell breaking loose, but it was mentally exhausting and the floor has never looked more inviting.

Before I can settle myself in, I hear my phone vibrating over the stream of Clarke’s shower. Glancing at the screen from a few feet away, I can tell it’s Octavia’s caller ID photo.

“Hey, little sis,” I smile into the phone.

“What’s up big brother?” Octavia nearly squeals. I’ve missed her these past few days and have worried more than I’ll admit to.

“How’s everything going at Lincoln’s?” I ask, not able to keep my cool for very long.

She launches into a play-by-play of everything that happened since the moment she got there, ending with what happened 5 minutes ago at their Thanksgiving dinner. It’s not like Octavia to be short, and today is no exception. I chuckle and add in my “mhmm’s” every now and again, but for the most part, I let Octavia fill me in without much interruption.

“ _And how’s everything with Clarke_?” she pries after her monologue, still being my annoying little sister at times. I can hear the insinuation in her voice.

“Everything is good,” I reply shortly, not giving her any other details.

“Oh come on, you must’ve had so much alone time, don’t tell me your relationship hasn’t progressed at all!”

“I didn’t say that,” I grin like an idiot. “Like I said, everything is good.”

Octavia gives a little cheer over the phone and says something to Lincoln, but I’m not paying attention. Because at that same moment, Clarke opens the door from her bathroom wearing nothing but a matching panty and bra set.

I gape at her, completely blown away, while she smirks at me from across the room.

“O, I gotta go. See you tomorrow,” I sputter quickly before practically hanging up on her.

She saunters over to me confidently and I can’t help but notice the way her hips are swaying side to side. Her fair skin is luminescent in the dim light of the lamp. I admire every inch of her, my eyes not able to take it all in fast enough. The swell of her breasts are practically spilling out from her black lacy bra and her damp hair grazes the top of them which only serves as emphasis.

“Clarke,” I try to warn but it comes out as a growl. 

“What?” she toys innocently, pausing a few feet in front of where I’m seated on the edge of her bed. She smiles at me, knowing she’s got me wrapped around her finger. I’m like silly putty in her hand.

“What are you doing?” I rasp with a tightness in my throat.

“Exactly what I want to do.”

I’ve never heard her voice so seductive. If I’d known she could be this… this sex kitten, I probably wouldn’t have been able to hold out for as long as I have.

With this, she closes the gap quickly and straddles my lap, causing the bulge forming to strain almost uncomfortably in my boxers and pajama pants.

“Your mom and Marcus are still up talking downstairs,” I groan distractedly, using every ounce of self-control I have to not grab her hips and throw her down on the bed.

Her only response is a devilish grin before taking my lips between her own. She wastes no time slipping that incredible tongue of hers against mine and I let out a breath at the contact. Fuck it. I squeeze my hands into her bare hips wanting to feel her supple skin in my rough hands. Clarke takes it as encouragement and her kisses become more urgent as she glides her hands over my bare chest and stomach.

“Don’t you think we should slow down?” I pant between kisses, hoping she’ll say no.

“Do you not want this?” she asks breathily, not pulling back from our fervent kissing.

“Of course I do.” I break away enough to look into her eyes. Her hot breath is coming in gasps now, sweeping over my face and causing shivers to run down my spine. “But I want to make sure this is what you want.”

She stares back into my eyes with a fire so hot that I feel it deep in my belly. “Bellamy, if this wasn’t what I wanted, do you think I’d be doing this?”

I can’t help but let out a little chuckle at that, as if Clarke would ever do something she didn’t want to. “Of course not, but - ”

She cuts me off with a finger over my lips. “I really appreciated what you did tonight and I can’t think of a better way to show you how much it meant to me. Now can you shut up and kiss me?”

Don’t have to tell me twice.

I tangle my hands in her still-wet hair and pull her into me. She wraps her warm hands around my back and grazes her nails over my shoulder blades. She’s biting at my lower lip and grinding her hips against mine, erasing all thoughts from my mind except the feel of her against my body. My hands act on their own accord, moving their way up her smooth curves and to her breasts.

When I give a small squeeze, she throws her head back and moans appreciatively with her eyes closed. I’ve imagined the sight, sound, and feel of her in this very moment so many times, but the real thing puts my imagination to shame.

“You’re going to have to be quieter,” I mumble with a smirk, planting an open mouthed kiss in the curve of her neck.

She bites her lip and looks slightly shy. It’s the only crack in her sensual escapade I’ve seen so far, and I find it kind of adorable. Her cheeks heat ever so slightly, reminding me that she doesn’t do this very often.

“Trust me, if I had it my way, you could be as loud as you wanted,” I reassure, returning my attention to her neck and down her collar bone.

Her only response is her signature giggle which in turn drives me crazy, flooding testosterone through my body.

I wrap my arms around her middle and flip her over on to her back so I can lay myself in the cradle of her hips. She doesn’t complain when I slide one of the cups of her bra down to take a soft pink bud into my mouth. She arches her back, giving me more access, and tangles her hands back into my hair.

After only a few seconds, she grows impatient and reaches around to unhook her bra. I help her out of it and revel in the sight. She looks radiant.

Clarke looks up at me as my eyes rake down her body. She seems to feel uncomfortable being so exposed, so she leans up and starts undoing the drawstring of my pajama pants to get my attention. I chuckle at her eagerness, but I don’t want this moment to end so quickly, so I cradle her head and drag her back into a long, open mouthed kiss.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” I ask softly to ease her apprehension. Somewhere in my over stimulated brain, I remember that Clarke has only had sex once and with one guy. A guy that probably didn’t do a good job, and even if he did, she doesn’t remember it.

I kiss her slowly, sensually, so she knows that I’ll take care of her. She matches my pace as her hands graze over my biceps and back.

Eventually though, she lets out a grunt of impatience. I smirk against her lips as I return my hands to her full breasts. It appeases her slightly.

I tease and pinch, nip and bite, and she’s practically writhing under my touch. I notice that if I swirl my tongue around her nipple, she lets out the hottest little mewl. I’ve never been so turned on in my entire life.

Finally relenting, I decide to move my attention elsewhere because if we’re being honest, I’m driving myself crazy with need. I trail kisses down her soft stomach and she giggles when I reach a ticklish spot on her hip.

I loop my thumbs in the sides of her panties and look up at her. Answering my silent question, she gives a small nod with hooded eyes.

Dragging her panties down, I notice she’s already wet and wanting which drives me even more crazy. I shoot her one more questioning glance to make sure we’re still on the same page, and if her nod weren’t enough, the hunger in her eyes was definite assurance.

I duck my head down wanting to taste her, and glide my tongue into her core. Clarke’s hands immediately grab hold of the sheets beside her and she makes the hottest sound I’ve ever heard. Needing to hear it again, I repeat my motions which elicits another moan. She realizes how loud she is and clasps a hand firmly over her mouth.

I continue teasing, feeling pretty self-satisfied and incredibly turned on.

“Bellamy,” she whispers hoarsely, and I’ve never loved my name more than I do right now. “I need you.”

Oh thank God.

I check her facial expression again, but she’s not looking back at me. Instead, her eyes are roving over my body as she bites into her lower lip. Hard.

I slide my pants off slowly, not trying to be too eager. When I return my attention to her, my stomach is wound in knots with a thousand different thoughts running through my head. What if I’m bad? What if I hurt her? I don’t think I could stand it if I inflicted pain, even accidentally.

Memories of the other women I’ve slept with flood back into my consciousness as I realize that this is something completely different. I really care about Clarke and it’s different than anything I’ve ever felt with someone else. I want everything to be perfect, I want to make up for her first time, I want her to know how much I care about her.

“What’s wrong?” she asks me, noticing my pause.

“I don’t want to mess this up,” I stammer. “Clarke, I… I think love you.”

Oh shit, I just said that out loud. She probably thinks it’s way too early, we’ve only been together for what, a couple of weeks? And I said it right before we’re about to have sex? Real smooth, Blake. Fuck.

“I think I love you too,” she whispers back with a smile.

I inhale a sharp breath, completely unsuspecting that response, before I can gather myself and let it sink in.

She’s beaming up at me, cheeks flushed and chest still heaving which reminds me of where we are and what we’re doing.

I lean down and kiss her through my stupid smile and this time it’s different. Because she loves me. And I love her. Our kiss is slow and passionate and relays every feeling I have toward her.

“Good,” I murmur quietly, and she chuckles underneath me.

“So, do I have to beg or are you going to get on with it?” Clarke breathes, weaving her hands around my neck and arching into me.

I can’t wipe the shit eating grin off my face. “I wouldn’t mind a little begging,” I joke.

Clarke slaps my arm playfully before planting a quick kiss on my neck. She lingers by my ear before she pulls away. “Careful what you wish for,” she whispers before nipping her teeth at my ear.

She takes my length in her hand and strokes along my shaft slowly. “Fuuuuck,” I breathe, eyes closing in response. Her small hand wrapped around me sends stars in my vision.

“I could make _you_ beg, or you can hurry up,” she growls.

Fuck, my girlfriend is hot and I can’t resist anymore.

I take a deep breath and push into her slowly. Apparently it’s too slowly though, so Clarke grabs at my hips to ease me in, her own legs falling to the sides. Her nails dig into my shoulder blades overwhelming my senses, so I lean down to capture her lips in mine to keep from moaning and waking the entire neighborhood.

She feels like bliss, and I feel… incandescently happy.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hope you guys liked it. It's my first time writing anything smut related, so go easy on me. :) <3


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